


You’re Not Alone

by ChildOfImagination



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Baby, Ben comes back, Empress Rey, F/M, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Light Side, Love, Marriage, Pregnancy, Redemption, Rey takes Ben’s hand, RoSW doesn’t exist, Romance, Smut, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, The Force, dark side
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:14:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 38,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26687995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildOfImagination/pseuds/ChildOfImagination
Summary: Rey didn’t know what she was doing, nor how it would effect the people who she now saw as her family, but something in her heart was pulling her towards him. Taking his hand seemed like her only option. Her only chance at bringing Ben solo back...What happens when Rey decides to take Kylo Ren’s extended hand in Snoke’s crumbling throne room instead of leaving him. Will life ever end up being peaceful or will the force continue to twist their fates in unsuspected ways? And will Rey ever get through to Ben Solo hidden deep below the mask called Kylo Ren?
Relationships: Ben Solo/Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey
Comments: 262
Kudos: 451





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first work on AO3 so thank you to anyone who reads this. I hope you enjoy it!

Rey held her breath as Kylo Ren stared deeply at her, both of them sweating from their previous fight against the Praetorian Guards. They had fought together, not against each other this time. Together. Working in unison to defeat the highly trained guards that had witnessed the murder of their Supreme leader. 

Rey still couldn’t wrap her head around it all. So much had happened. From their conversation in the turbolift, to her being tortured by Snoke, to then Kylo Ren killing Snoke and helping her defeat the Praetorian Guards. It was too much for her to take in, but still she couldn’t look away from Kylo. No, he wasn’t the vicious Kylo Ren right now. Rey had seen the light in his eyes, the connection between them growing ever since they came to each other’s aid just moments ago. 

No, he wasn’t Kylo Ren at this moment. He was Ben Solo. Rey could feel it. The man who’s life had become corrupted by the Force. The man who was betrayed by his uncle. Betrayed by his parents. The son of Leia Organa and Han Solo. 

Leia. 

Snapping her head away from Ben’s gaze, Rey ran towards the viewport at the side of the throne room, returning quickly to reality. The resistance. They were still under attack. 

“The fleet! Order them to stop firing. There’s still time to take the fleet...”

Turning back to look at Ben, Rey saw him no longer staring at her, but instead slowly walking towards the dismembered body of his former leader, Snoke. His face was unreadable, although Rey could feel the conflicting feelings across their bond as he stared at the body for just a moment before one emotion took over. Determination. A dark determination. 

Feeling him slipping back, Rey called his name softly, hoping to coerce him back to his calmer side. 

“Ben...”

Ben stayed staring at the throne, his breaths laboured as he tried to control his own emotions and thoughts. He knew what he had to do. Without looking away from the throne, Ben spoke in a strong tone. 

“It’s time to let all things die...Snoke, Skywalker...”

Ben turned to look at Rey, wanting to see her expression as he carried on with his words. Slowly, as he spoke, he approached Rey until he was across from her. Still a few feet away from. 

“...the Sith, the Jedi, the Rebels. Let it all die.”

Holding his arm towards her, Ben continued to speak, a gentleness in his voice that Rey was not familiar with. 

“Rey, I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy.”

Rey shook her head, feeling Ben slowly slipping away and Kylo returning to take over his body. She couldn’t lose him when she was so close to getting him back. So close to returning Leia’s son back to her. 

“Don’t do this, Ben. Please don’t go this way.”

Rey’s voice was pleading as she held eye contact with him, trying her best to keep calm and composed; the raw emotion inside of her ready to spill out at any moment. 

“No, no you’re still holding on!”

Ben, or rather, Kylo’s voice rose as his irritation became known.

“Let go!”

Rey kept her head high as he shouted at her, although she could already feel the tears spilling down her cheeks. It seems Kylo noticed too, his tone softening.

“Do you want to know the truth about your parents? Or have you always known?”

Rey stared at him, more tears slowly trickling down her face as she felt her body unable to look away from him. Although she knew that was purely her doing, not the force. 

“And you’ve just hidden it away.”

Kylo’s voice softened even more as he slowly walked towards Rey, keeping eye contact. Neither could look away, feeling the bond between them holding them in place. Kylo stood a mere few feet away from Rey now, staring deeply at her, his expression softened slightly. 

“You know the truth. Say it.”

Rey remained still and unmoving, knowing she’d most likely break the moment she moved. 

“Say it.”

Kylo’s voice softened even more as his final nudge pushed Rey over the edge as her emotions spilled out in front of her. Tears ran down her cheeks as she accepted the truth finally. 

“They were nobody.”

Kylo kept his gaze on her as he continued with her statement. 

“They were filthy junk traders. Sold you off for drink money.”

Rey let out a sniff as the revelation hit her like a ton of bricks, knocking the wind straight out of her lungs. Her eyes now swam with tears as they descended down her cheeks in streams. 

“They’re dead in a pauper’s grave in the Jakku desert. You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You’re nothing.”

Kylo’s words were blunt and brutal, causing more tears to fall down Rey’s cheeks. She had never felt so vulnerable yet so calm. She couldn’t help but wonder if it was Kylo’s presence or his manipulation that was causing this. 

Allowing herself to look away, Rey batted her eyes, trying to bat away the tears to show her strength. Show that she didn’t need her parents anymore. She didn’t need anyone. But then, Kylo spoke again in a tone that was most certainly Ben. 

“But not to me.”

Rey raised her head so that her eyes would meet Ben’s once again. There was an essence of kindness around him, a feeling of comfort that she couldn’t understand. He was telling the truth, she knew that much thanks to the bond they shared. However, her thoughts and feelings were conflicted. How could someone who had hunted her down and tried to kill her, say that she meant something to him? 

And yet, looking back on the past moments when she and Kylo Ren had collided, majority of those moments he could’ve killed her, but instead he let her live. He spoke to her, listened to her, and when their hands touched through the bond at Ahch-To, Rey had seen the light in him. Perhaps now was the time for her to try and save Ben Solo from his darkness by giving into hers. 

“Join me...”

Ben’s voice brought her away from her thoughts, her eyes meeting his as he raised his hand outwards towards her. It was an offering. An offering of her becoming his equal. Of her becoming part of the First Order and subsequently one with the dark side. It was tempting and quite frankly that terrified Rey. She knew the dark side called to her after her stay at Ahch-To, however she wouldn’t let herself fall into its grasp. But, if it meant she may be able to save someone who was already trapped by its claws, would it be worth it?

Her head was a mess and quite frankly she didn’t know what to do. Her head was telling her to run as fast as she could whilst her heart remained quiet, only speaking one word to her with no reasoning. Stay. 

Ben slowly moved forward, catching her eyes once again as he kept his arm outstretched. There was something deep within his gaze, a type of pleading that pierced Rey’s heart. She needed to act soon. She wouldn’t lose him again. But, what would it mean for the resistance?

Looking in his eyes, Rey felt her hand slowly start to reach out as if by its own will. Rey didn’t know what she was doing, nor how it would effect the people who she now saw as her family, but something in her heart was pulling her towards him. Taking his hand seemed like her only option. Her only chance at bringing Ben solo back...but at what cost. 

“...please.”

Ben’s barely audible plea struck Rey hard. She knew what she had to do. She just hoped that Leia and the resistance would forgive her. 

Moving forward slightly, Rey extended her hand so that hovered at the side of Ben’s. They weren’t touching but the space between them was barely there. Ben watched her eyes, his own slightly wide that she seemed to be joining him whilst also confused as to why she had not connected their hands. She was holding back, he could see it. 

“Rey...”

Rey swallowed as he spoke her name in such a calm way that it sent a shock through her system. She was in new territory and had no idea what to do. However, one thing was paramount. 

“If I am to join you, I have a condition...”

Ben’s eyebrow raised as he tried to remain patient. He wasn’t going to risk her leaving now but he was most certain that he wouldn’t like the words that left her lips. 

“What’s your condition?”

Rey inhaled deeply, making sure she felt strong enough to stand up for herself. She was strong and independent and now was not the time to forget that. 

“Let the rebels go. If the resistance is able to go free, then I will join you.”

Rey could feel the anger surging through Ben, but she no longer felt scared by it. This was how it was going to be and he needed to know that she wasn’t giving up easily. 

“You’re still holding on!”

Ben had all but growled at her, his hand pulled away in a fist as he walked away slightly before circling back on himself to come and face Rey. 

“If I let them live you’ll never truly move on. You’ll never truly be with me...”

Rey searched his eyes once again, getting her answer from them and their bond. He was worried. He truly wanted her to join him. He had meant what he said. She truly meant something to him, but that wasn’t enough for her to let her friends die. 

Closing the space between them even more, Rey stared up at him, holding a gentle gaze. 

“You’re just going to have to trust me like I am you.”

Knowing she needed to convince him more, Rey slowly crept her hands forwards towards his. He didn’t move, although she felt him tense slightly as her hands met his gloved ones. Even through the material, they could feel the bond between them pulling at them. It was as if they were supposed to be together, as if they were always supposed to be on the same side. 

Rey looked down at their hands, feeling Ben’s piercing eyes locked on her before she slowly looked back up into his eyes. 

“Please.”

Hearing her voice sound so vulnerable seemed to strike Ben as he pulled her closer to him with their entwined hands, Rey gasping slightly as she brushed against his chest. His eyes seemed to be searching hers for reassurance as he stared down at her. They stayed like this for a few prolonged seconds before Ben slowly released one of his hands from hers, bringing it up to move a loose strand of hair from her face with an uncharacteristic gentleness. 

Rey could feel their breathing grow heavy as they stared at each other, unable to break the bond before the sound of the turbolift’s doors shattered their moment.


	2. Chapter 2

Both of their heads snapped towards the doors, slightly defensive stances engaged as they readied for another potential battle. Rey didn’t let it go unnoticed how Ben held his hand back slightly, using part of his body to block her from any danger. It was as if it was an instinct for him to protect her, the thought making Rey feel a way deep inside of her but that would have to wait. They were too busy for her to try and figure out her feelings now. 

Looking over towards the doors, they saw General Hux take a step out before freezing in place, obviously overwhelmed at the mass of bodies laying in the throne room, including that of the Supreme Leader. 

With a gasp, General Hux hastily ran down the long walkway towards the throne, stopping at the two halves of his master’s body. He stayed that way for a moment before turning over his shoulder at Rey and Ben who were looking back at him, unsure of how he would react. 

Ben wasn’t worried about General Hux, he could easily kill him. However, he commanded the soldiers and his sudden death would potentially turn them all against him. He had to be careful, although he knew that if he tried to hurt either of them, especially Rey, he would kill him in an instant without hesitation. 

Hux’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Kylo Ren, one of the only survivors who coincidentally seemed to be guarding the other remaining survivor, the rebel scavenger. He didn’t like the feeling he got from them. The way Kylo stared back at him, there was something else in his eyes. Something that was never there before, but now the girl was present, something in Kylo had changed. And Hux was going to use that to his advantage no matter what. 

“Ren...what happened?!”

Hux’s voice was practically venom as he spat at the pair but it didn’t bother Ben in the slightest. Moving slightly so that his full height was shown, Ben stared the red haired general down. 

“There was an attack. The Praetorian Guards betrayed Snoke and killed him.”

General Hux wore a face of disbelief as he looked at the bodies surrounding him. 

“That’s impossible. Supreme Leader Snoke would’ve known if they were going to attack. How could they possibly a-“

“Are you questioning your Supreme Leader, General Hux?”

Hux froze, his glare becoming ever more evident on his pale face. It seemed he would have to bite his tongue for the time being if he wanted to survive, but he would get his revenge. 

“Of course not...Supreme Leader. I merely wanted to clarify what happened for when we announce the death of Supreme Leader Snoke and the rise of our new Supreme Leader, sir.”

Ben could feel the pain it caused Hux to say those words, making the moment even sweeter. Seeing the man he despised so much under his command gave him power. Power he had never felt before. 

Rey let her eyes glance over to Ben, noticing a shift in his energy. He was getting darker once again, focusing too much on what he could do to make the smaller man squirm instead of how to get them out of this situation. She debated trying to talk to him through their bond but was cut off as Ben’s strong voice broke the silence. 

“The Praetorian Guards committed high treason and killed Supreme Leader Snoke. I witnessed the aftermath as I arrived and slaughtered the disgraced guards with no hesitation.”

Hux gave a short nod towards Ben in acknowledgement before casting his eyes over Ben’s shoulder to Rey. 

“Very good, Sir. Now, what about that worthless scavenger? Shall I organise a public execution?”

Once again, Rey felt the anger and darkness rising in Ben’s soul. However, she wasn’t exactly sure why Hux’s words would cause such a response in him. She was an enemy up to a few moments ago. She wasn’t sure if she still was since he had never given her an answer. Either way, the natural next step would be for her to be tortured or executed. Ben knew that, yet his anger spiked the moment Hux suggested it. 

Without warning, Hux began grasping at his neck, choked words falling out of his lips as Ben chocked him with the force. Rey could feel him tipping further and further over, and whilst she had already decided that she didn’t like this man, Hux, he didn’t deserve to die for assuming they would kill her, an enemy. 

Moving forward slightly, Rey rested her hand with pressure similar to that of a feather onto Ben’s back, hoping to calm him down. 

“Ben...”

Her voice was quiet, barely a whisper, but he heard her. He’d always hear her. Turning his head hesitantly, Ben’s eyes met with hers. The way her eyes shimmered as she silently pleaded with him, it was as if she knew exactly how to control him. How to reach down and touch his heart. The feeling of relief slowly flowed over Ben as he released Hux from his clutches, his eyes never leaving her own. 

Hux fell to his knees, gasping for breath as he stared at the pair in front of him, neither paying him any attention. The way they stared at each other set him on edge. There was something going on between them that was guaranteed to cause issues for the First Order and Hux wasn’t going to let that happen. 

Hux cleared his throat, drawing the attention of Rey and Ben from their gaze as he rose to his feet. Instantly Ben’s glare returned. 

“Supreme Leader...”

Hux lowered his head in submission, letting himself lose this time so that he could strike at the right time.

“Rey. Her name is Rey. And she is to join the First Order as my equal.”

“But Sir-“

Ben stepped forward, intimidating Hux with the daggers in his eyes. 

“You shall treat her accordingly, General Hux.”

Hux lowered his head. 

“Yes, Supreme Leader...”

“Call off the attack on the rebels immediately.”

Hux looked up in shock, about to resist when he was met with Ben’s or rather, Kylo’s deathly glare. Instead, he kept his mouth shut. 

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

Satisfied with Hux’s reluctant obedience, Ben turned around towards Rey. Without giving her any time to think, Ben reached for her hand, grasping it tightly before pulling her with him towards the turbolifts. Rey gasped slightly, but otherwise remained silent as Ben dragged her away.


	3. Chapter 3

Tension seemed to grow between Rey and Ben once they were in the turbolift. It was the same tension that had been present on their way to the throne room less than an hour ago. They remained silent, although Rey could still feel Ben’s hand tightly holding on to her’s. Looking down, she smiled slightly, feeling oddly and worryingly calm about her current situation. 

She had just betrayed the Resistance so that she could save them, along with Ben Solo. However, they wouldn’t know that and would now be seeing her as an enemy. A traitor. Something Rey never wanted to be. But, so far, even though she wasn’t entirely comfortable with her plan, she wasn’t regretting it either. Moments like this, where the true Ben Solo shined through. Where he was able to be gentle and not just rage and darkness. They made her choice worth it. 

Ben seemed to notice Rey staring at their hands, promptly removing his hand from its grip around hers. He hadn’t realised that he’d grabbed her hand, mainly focussing at the time on getting them out of the throne room without Hux throwing any more questions at them. However, he didn’t miss the sense of sadness come over Rey once he removed his hand. The feeling startling him, making him unsure of himself far too easily. 

Both of their emotions were running high. The adrenaline from the fight calming down whilst the nerves for what they were going to do next grew. Ben could feel Rey growing anxious as the turbolift descended, her feelings matching many of his own. However, his worries lay within her. Would she stay? Did she truly mean what she said about joining him? He wholeheartedly wanted her to stay, to be by his side as they ruled the galaxy, but he could feel doubt in her. 

“Thank you...”

Rey slowly raised her head as he turned to look at Ben, unsure of what he was about to say. 

“...for trusting me.”

Rey could tell this was not something Ben was used to doing from his awkwardness around her, but it didn’t affect the sentiment in his words. 

Feeling a small smile creep across her face, Rey looked up at Ben. 

“You too.”

The space between them had gotten smaller somehow, although they were not touching. A weird sense of Deja-vu overcoming them from there journey in the turbolift earlier. However, like before, the opening of the blast doors soon broke them out of their gaze, the open hanger coming into view.

With a slight nudge on her back, Ben lead Rey out of the turbolift, walking towards his ship in the centre of the hanger. 

“Is my ship ready?”

One of the nearby Stormtroopers stepped forward, answering the Supreme Leader. 

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“Good.”

Turning to Rey, he could feel her confusion and worry growing. She thought he was going to leave her here? So much for trust. 

“Time to get in.”

Rey raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You want me to fly your TIE?”

“No, we’re both going in it.”

Rey paused for a moment, moving slightly closer to Ben so she could speak in a quieter tone. 

“Ben, there’s only one seat.”

Ben kept his gaze neutral as he looked down at Rey, finding her embarrassment oddly endearing. 

“I know that.”

And with that, he turned away, heading towards his ship, leaving a slightly flustered Rey in his wake. 

Rey hurriedly followed after him, feeling the eyes of the masked stormtroopers on her. This was not how she expected things to be going after joining him. 

Once up, level with the pilot seat of the TIE, Rey found herself looking down at Ben who was already seated in the chair. 

“Well, what you waiting for?”

Rey raised an eyebrow at him, unsure of what he was asking her to do. 

Sighing, Ben moved his legs so that there was a small space at the front of the seat. Rey knew that was the best she was going to get, so she jumped in, slowly sitting on the seat. She knew Ben could see well enough to control the ship due to his towering height, however she couldn’t help but feel in the way. 

“Relax. You’re only in here because I don’t trust anyone else to fly us anywhere.”

Rey could feel him trying to soothe her over the bond. To let her know she could trust him. And for some reason, she felt she could. 

Resting his hand lightly against her waist, Ben slowly pulled her to rest against his chest. Rey couldn’t help but tense at the feeling of his hand on her waist, but soon relaxed once again as Ben started the ship. 

‘Need to be able to see.’

Rey nodded, understanding him through the bond. Very soon, the ship was flying through space to a location Rey didn’t know. Although, at that moment she didn’t seem to care. The silence between them was oddly comforting, even in the confining space. However, curiosity was rising in Rey. Where exactly were they going? And what would happen when they get there? 

“Where are we going?”

Ben remained quiet for a moment, flipping some controls in the cockpit before settling back in the seat. 

“My ship, the Finalizer.”

Rey nodded, not wanting to talk much. The silence was nice after so long fighting, allowing her to gather her thoughts. 

The journey was short, with both of them exiting the TIE to dozens of stormtroopers waiting for them in the Finalizer’s hanger. Rey tensed slightly at first, feeling apprehensive of how the crew on the ship would treat her. She was an enemy and now suddenly she was part of the First Order. If she struggled to believe it then members of the first order most definitely would. But that didn’t seem to bother Ben as he guided her towards a group of stormtroopers in front of them, his hand gently resting on her lower back. 

“Welcome back, Kylo Ren.”

“You’re mistaken.”

Ben soon announced his position to his troopers, ensuring they knew the story of what had happened and also why Rey was with him. Once he mentioned Rey, his voice seemed to soften slightly, although if you weren’t listening carefully you would’ve missed it. 

Once the formalities were over, Ben addressed the stormtrooper in front of him once again. 

“Now, take Rey to my chambers.”


	4. Chapter 4

Rey allowed the group of stormtroopers surrounding her to lead her to Ben’s quarters, rather annoyed at the way Ben had simply handed her off to the group before stating he had ‘business’ to do. So much for being equals.

Rey felt uneasy. She could feel the stares from behind the Stormtrooper helmets along with those of other crew members on the enormous ship. She knew it would take time for her to get settled in here, but with the looks she was getting, maybe it would take her even longer than she had originally thought. 

However, it was a big ship so surely there had to be at least one nice person on there. Someone to be like a friend to her, instead of another blank face dressed in black. A friend. 

Her thoughts cast back to Finn and the resistance, a longing to see them, to make sure they were all safe growing inside of her. She missed them, and she knew that the feeling was only going to get worse with time. It always did. 

Rey didn’t know how long she’d been walking, nor did she really care at this point, however she was suddenly catching herself from bumping into the Stormtrooper in front of her. She was too busy thinking about her friends she’d left behind to notice the soldiers in white stopping abruptly around her. The stormtrooper in front of her turned around to face her. 

“This is the Supreme Leaders quarters, Lady Rey.”

Rey raised an eyebrow at the Stormtrooper, unaware as to why he would place ‘Lady’ in front of her name. She was Rey, just Rey. 

“Um, you don’t need to call me that. Rey is fine.”

The stormtrooper nodded before moving to open the doors. 

“Right this way.”

Rey moved forwards into the dark room, turning around to face the stormtroopers on the other side of the doors. She’d expected them to follow her in to ensure she behaved but they remained on the outside of the room. 

“Please remain in the Supreme Leader’s quarters until her returns, Madame Rey.”

Before Rey could protest at the formal address once again, the blast doors were shut and she was left alone in Ben’s dark quarters. Alone like before. A feeling she had grown far too used to. 

‘You’re not alone, Rey.’

Startled by the sudden voice, Rey looked around the room before realising it was Ben. He was contacting her over their bond, obviously having felt her loneliness. 

Rey remained still for a moment before she spoke through the bond. 

‘Where are you?’

Rey could sense Ben smile ever so slightly, before letting out a sigh. 

‘Dealing with some business that needed my attention. I won’t be long.’

Rey nodded, hoping he’d understand her actions through the bond, still not entirely sure on how it worked just yet. 

‘Make yourself comfortable, I’ll meet you there once I’m done.’

And with that, Rey felt his presence leave the bond, leaving her alone once more. Although this time it was only temporary. 

Knowing she needed to kill time, Rey decided to explore. Looking around, the main room was large and spacious. A kitchenette and dining table to the left near a narrow viewport, all sporting black with the occasional greys and white backlights around the cupboards. To the right, set back slightly further into the room was a seating area containing a large curved sofa, along with a few single chairs and side tables. A large holo screen was mounted on the wall that protruded out across from the sofa. Once again, the sofa and side chairs were all a dark grey with black tables. All of the visible lights seemed to be a bright white, yet still too dim to light up the whole room substantially. 

Looking beyond the sofa, a desk sat against the wall separating the living area from what Rey presumed to be Ben’s bedroom. Feeling curious, Rey entered the room, expecting a room full of darkness like the rest of the quarters but was pleasantly surprised to find a room alight with the glow of space. 

The room was large like the others, with a couple of steps down from the doors giving the room a somewhat intimate feeling. The colours were still dark, however the large viewport spanning the majority of the left wall, leaving gaps of a few feet either side, soon lit up the room. The viewport started from around the middle of Rey’s thighs and finished nearly two feet above her with a ledge thick enough for her to comfortably sit on. The built in cushion along the ledge seemed to insinuate that Ben already did this. 

Looking at the large viewport in wonder, Rey couldn’t help but feel small in the galaxy. The feeling of looking out at the vastness that was space slowly sinking in. 

Moving on towards the bed in the centre of the room, Rey couldn’t help but touch the silk black sheets, awed at the softness of the material. She had never seen such fine fabrics in her life, nor did she ever think she would get touch them. The bed’s headboard was a dark grey metal with build in cushioning in the centre. The side tables matched those in the living areas, along with the dim lights accentuating the room. 

Either side of the bed was a door, one leading to a walk-in-wardrobe and the other to a fresher. Both intrigued Rey, but she still felt drawn to the large viewport in the bedroom. 

Hoisting herself onto the cushioned ledge, Rey looked out at the galaxy, feeling a calming presence wash over her. It was beautiful. So peaceful. No one would know there was a war going on from looking out at the view she saw. It was as if, for the first time, space didn’t seem to be so cold and icy. 

“I see you took my advice.”

Jumping slightly at the close proximity of the voice, Rey looked over to the bedroom doors, finding Ben standing there. His eyes stayed on her for a moment before he walked into the room, striding over to the wardrobe and appearing moments later without his cape, gloves and long coat. All he was left wearing was his trousers and long sleeved top, making him instantly look less like Kylo Ren and more like the Ben Solo Rey had always pictured. He looked gentle and kind, something she never thought would be possible for a man who had killed his own father. 

Feeling the pain surging back over her from remembering Han’s death, Rey focused her eyes back to the view on the other side of the viewport, trying her hardest to hide her pain. But he had already felt it.


	5. Chapter 5

Rey could feel his gaze resting on her, questioning her through their bond. She knew she should’ve hidden her feelings away better, but it was too late now. 

They stayed this way for a few moments before Ben made his way towards the viewport, slowly lowering himself onto the other side of the ledge across from Rey. His gaze remained on her, his curious eyes focussing on her with great concentration. 

“You still mourn Han Solo.”

It was statement more than a question, but Rey nodded nevertheless, knowing there was no use in hiding anything from Ben. He’d find out sooner than later so it was probably best to start this partnership off with them being open with each other. 

Ben’s lips curled slightly as he heard Rey’s thoughts, feeling relieved that she wanted to share unbeknownst to Rey herself. 

Silence fell over them once again before Rey spoke up. 

“Why did you do it?”

Ben kept his gaze on her as she finally turned to look at him, the glimpse of tears threatening to fall making him feel a way he wasn’t used to. 

“Why did you kill him? You never gave me a proper answer.”

Ben scoffed slightly, leaning against the viewport wall as he brought his other leg up onto the ledge. 

“I told you, the past must die.”

“That’s not good enough!”

Rey’s voice rose to meet the same anger she spat at him in the forest. When she wanted to kill him. Ben could feel her turmoil mixed in with her mess of emotions. She was all over the place internally, unsure on what she really felt. It made him feel pity for her. She truly needed a teacher, and maybe he could be that for her one day. 

Looking her in the eyes, Ben softened his gaze. 

“I killed him because he brought me pain. He made me feel guilty for leaving, for choosing this life. I hated him for it.”

Looking down at his hands, Ben continued. 

“I knew if he remained alive, I wouldn’t be able to fulfil my destiny with the dark side. But then you came along...”

Rey gave Ben a curious look as he let his eyes meet hers once again, unsure on what he had meant in his last comment. 

“If it helps, I regret it. The instance I did it regretted it, but it was done so there was no reason to waste my emotion over it.”

Rey remained silent, streams of tears gliding down her face as she looked out of the viewport. She was trying her best to remain calm, to not attack Ben for the little remorse he held for his father’s death. It made her sick to her stomach, and yet, seeing him regret his actions brought some small comfort to her. He wasn’t a true monster, not yet. There was still hope. 

Ben kept his eyes on Rey, taking in her appearance as if he had never been able to see her this close before. In a way it was true. Whenever they were close, they were fighting or he had the mask on, clouding his view of her. But now, he could see her in her pure, raw form. The way her eyes sparkled as the tears fell down her cheeks, the hair falling out of her three buns down her head, the sun kissed details on her bruised face. They all made Ben feel a way that confused him, and yet for some reason, he seemed to like it. It was slowly becoming more and more frequent lately. Coincidentally whenever Rey was near him. He had an idea on what it was, however he wasn’t ready to look down that route just yet. 

Realising he had been staring at her for too long, Ben broke the silence. 

“May I ask you a question as well?”

Rey turned to him, curiosity in her tear-drained eyes. With a small nod, she gave him her full attention. 

“Why did you accept my hand?”

Rey opened her mouth slightly in surprise, unsure on how to answer. In reality, it had been a multitude of reasons along with a bit of panic. Not really the best reason but it was worth her trying to explain it to him. 

Pulling her legs up so she could rest her chin on them, she tried her best to explain. 

“In all honesty, I’m not sure.”

Ben kept his face neutral, even if his stomach felt tight. He wouldn’t show her how much her answer worried him, no matter what. He didn’t want to be seen as weak by her. 

“I could say that it was for the resistance, and that is partly true. They were in trouble, and I knew they wouldn’t survive. I would do anything to save them, so I agreed to your offer along with my own terms. It was the only way to save them.”

So she had done it to save the resistance. That was all Ben had to hear to know how this partnership would go. Obviously they were on different pages. He wanted her to join for advantage but also because she was his weakness. He didn’t want to kill her, he wanted her on the throne with him. The reason why, he had no idea, but he knew he couldn’t ignore it. Meanwhile, she had joined as a sacrifice to save the people she truly cared for. It was admirable, however Ben couldn’t help but feel disappointed. 

Rey seemed to sense his emotions, even though he was currently blocking her from feeling his emotions. He guessed his body language had let him down this time, soon repositioning into a state that showed neutrality to her words. 

Rey gave him a small smile, noticing how he would often fall in and out of his Kylo Ren persona, acting as if he didn’t feel even though Rey knew deep down there was good in him. She could feel it. 

“But, that wasn’t the only reason why I stayed. I wanted to take your hand...”

Ben’s eyes fixed on hers, unsure on what she was trying to say to him. 

“...Ben’s hand.”

Ben let his eyes remain on her as he spoke, trying to keep his voice strong.

“Ben Solo is gone. You know that.”

Rey shook her head, leaning back to look out into the vast galaxy. 

“I wouldn’t had taken your hand if he truly was. I know he’s alive. I’m talking to him right now.”

Ben rolled his eyes, turning to join Rey in looking out the viewport. 

“It’s like I said in the turbolift, Ben. When our hands touched, I saw you as part of the light. You turned. That’s why I’m here, to help you reach your destiny.”

“Don’t you remember what I saw? You turned to the dark side, joining me on the throne.”

Rey remained quiet for a moment before she turned back to look at Ben, his eyes remaining locked on the outside. 

“Well, I’m here aren’t I?”

Ben slowly looked back at her, a small smile gracing her lips. It wasn’t a forced one, but instead one of the first genuine ones he had seen on her. If he thought she was beautiful before, then now she was gorgeous. 

Sensing the unusual feeling growing stronger, Ben let the smallest of smiles break through his neutral expression. Perhaps, having her by his side would still work out how he planned for it to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lots of staring but that is the majority of their relationship in the first two films, especially with their force bond


	6. Chapter 6

Ben watched Rey as she looked out of the viewport, admiring the distant stars and planets surrounding them. She looked peaceful finally, almost perfect, however the bruise starting to form over her left eyebrow was drawing Ben’s attention. That, along with the gash on her right arm, the blood now dried around the open wound. 

Ben could hear her shouting out in pain as the blade hit her arm, cutting her instantly. He could feel the pain at the moment, but it just pushed him to keep fighting so that he could help her. Of course, she had ended up helping him in the end, but the sentiment was still there. 

Noticing Ben’s eyes on her, Rey turned to look at him, a slightly quizzical look in her eyes. 

“You should use the fresher.”

“Excuse me?”

Rey was a little taken aback by the blunt comment, suddenly feeling very self conscious of the way she smelt after the vigorous fight in the sweltering throne room. It wasn’t like he smelt that fresh either. 

Ben quickly tried to cover up his mistake, not wanting to insult her further. 

“I mean, we’re both in need of getting cleaned up. I just thought you’d like to go first.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

Rey gave him another small smile before lifting herself off the comfy ledge, moving towards refresher. 

Stopping at the door, Rey turned to look at Ben again, noticing how he wanted to say something. 

“The sonic shower is pretty easy to use but if you need help, let me know.”

Getting up to walk out of the bedroom, Ben suddenly turned around to face Rey who met his gaze with a raised eyebrow. 

“I mean help you with the controls, not...”

Rey chuckled. A small laugh. Something Ben had never heard from her before. Well, he’d hardly heard anyone genuinely laugh in years. It was like music to his ears, something about it making him feel the most comfortable he had felt in years. 

“I’ll be fine Ben.”

And with that, Rey entered the white refresher room, taking in the black appliances. The shower across from the door was huge, built with both water and sonic so that she could choose. A mirror on the wall opposite made the bright white room feel even bigger as she walked around, taking in her surroundings. Towels were stacked on the counter top, all black obviously. Rey didn’t mind though, the soft touch of the towels’ material soon making up for the dark colour. 

Hesitantly, Rey undressed herself before entering the shower, basking in the warm water that was so scarce at the resistance base. 

Meanwhile, Ben sat on the curved sofa in the other room, staring at nothing in particular. He didn’t really think his plan through, and in all honesty hadn’t expected Rey to accept his hand when he offered it. The shock of it all still sat heavy with him, unsure of how to deal with it. How was he going to make her part of the First Order? Part of the Dark side? Did he even want to turn her into the Dark side anymore?

The plan had always been for her to join him and rule the galaxy with their powers from the Dark side combined. But now, there was doubt growing within him. After seeing her smile and hearing her laugh, even if it was a snippet, he had seen the light that resonated inside her. So bright and pure. And yet here she was, willingly joining him, ready to give that all up. 

Moving forward, Ben placed his head in his hands, feeling his thoughts growing out of control. He needed to focus on more important issues right now than his moral standards. Issues such as how to incorporate Rey into the first order, where Rey would be sleeping and what she would be wearing, the fact she had left with nothing suddenly hitting him. 

Grabbing his holo pad, Ben sent messages to people on the Finalizer, ensuring the appropriate changes could be made within the next day. She would have fitters come tomorrow to get her sizing and then clothes delivered the following days. A bed could be put in the adjoining room that he currently used as storage until her actual quarters were ready. 

But, what about where she would sleep tonight? Or the clothes she’d wear?

Walking into the bedroom, being careful to check that Rey wasn’t in there, Ben made his way over to his large wardrobe made up of nearly all the same black garments. His everyday clothes wouldn’t be comfortable for her, so he would have to find some clothes he didn’t wear often. Looking through his clothes, Ben picked out a large long sleeved jumper and cropped joggers. 

Satisfied with his pick, Ben placed the clothes on the bed, ready to leave back to the living room before a picture stuck into his mind. Her injuries. She needed to treat them. 

Returning to the wardrobe, Ben opened a storage draw full of medical supplies. Grabbing a bacta pack, Ben returned to the bedroom placing the pack on top of the clothes. Turning to leave, Ben stopped in his tracks as he heard her gentle voice. 

Turning around, his eyes were met with Rey wrapped in one of the large towels. Almost all of her body was smothered by the towel, leaving her shoulders and collarbones on show. Her hair was down, loose waves dripping water down her skin. He knew he should look away, but once again there was that connection from before pulling them together like magnets. 

Pulling himself away from her gaze, Ben cleared his throat, trying to remain as unbothered by Rey standing there in a towel as possible. His mind soon flew back to when the force bond had opened when he was shirtless, making him wonder if Rey had felt the same way he was feeling now. Perhaps he would have to test the feeling later on. 

Trying his best to stay focused, Ben managed to get some words out. 

“I’ve left you some clothes and medical supplies on the bed. If you’re done, I’ll use the fresher now.”

Rey gave him a small smile once again, moving to let him reach the fresher. Ben made it to the doorway, however he stopped, mimicking Rey’s actions earlier by accident. Turning to face her, he could see her looking at the bacta pack before glancing at the wound on her arm. It looked painful and in need of medical attention. 

Part of Ben was telling him to go and help her. To offer to place the bacta gel on her arm and head, ensuring she was okay. But he held himself back, not wanting to give into his wild thoughts. 

Rey seemed to catch wind of his thoughts, her head turning to meet his gaze. In a way, Ben felt like she wanted him to help her too, but he wouldn’t unless she asked. Even then he didn’t know if he could since he had felt literal sparks the last time he touched her. 

However, Rey seemed to understand him once again, pulling the corners of her mouth into a small smile. 

“Thank you.”

Her words were sincere, Ben knew that. He could feel it. 

With a small nod, Ben turned back into the refresher, ready to be engulfed by the warm water.


	7. Chapter 7

Once Ben was finished with his shower, he put on some loose sweatpants and made his way to the living area, finding Rey curled up on the sofa, her eyes focused on the holo screen. Ben couldn’t help but notice how small she looked in the clothes he had given her. They smothered her, the sleeves rolled up into thick curls around her wrists and the bottom of the top reaching around her mid-thigh. The cropped joggers were nearly full length on her, very baggy and loose around her small frame.

Noticing his presence, Rey turned to look at him, giving a small smile before quickly looking away, noticing his lack of shirt. The small blush on her cheeks becoming evident as she became flustered. 

“Don’t you have a shirt you could put on or something?”

Ben raised an eyebrow, sitting down on one of the single chairs to the side of the sofa. 

“I’m comfy. But, if it makes you uncomfortable...”

Rey could hear the slight annoyance in his voice, feeling bad for how she acted. This was his home. He could wear what he wanted. Besides, she’d seen him like this before anyway. 

“No, no it’s okay. Really. Just took me by surprise, that’s all.”

A comfortable silence rested upon them for a few moments before Rey spoke up once again. 

“Ben...”

Ben turned his head to face her, giving her his attention. 

“Where exactly am I going to sleep?”

Ben raised his brows slightly before relaxing, remembering he had sorted everything out earlier. He had just simply forgot to mention it to Rey. 

“I’ve organised for the adjoining quarters to be made ready for you, however they won’t be ready for a few days. So, for now you’ll take my bed. I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

Rey smiled slightly, her cheeks heated for a reason she wasn’t entirely sure. 

“Thank you Ben, but I couldn’t take your bed. Not if you have to take the sofa.”

Ben shook his head, raising from the seat to walk over to the kitchenette. 

“I insist. It’s a comfy sofa and I also stay up late watching the holo screen anyway.”

Rey nodded her head slowly, watching him tinker around in the kitchenette. Well, it was practically a kitchen due to the size but very minimal. 

Rey continued to watch him as he prepared some food, almost certain he could feel her stare on him. She wasn’t bothered though, and neither was he. For some reason, there was a neutrality between them from their bond. Neither could explain it but they both welcomed it, enjoying the closeness of each other in times of loneliness. It was as if the force had picked out two of the loneliest people in the galaxy and stuck them together to keep each other company. In a way, that maybe wasn’t that far off, but whatever the reason for the bond was, neither of them would ever get rid of it. Of course, they’d never admit it, but they both seemed to thrive over the connection. 

Rey couldn’t help but notice that the feeling of the bond had grown stronger. As if having them in close proximity like this was what it was after. It felt different in another way too, it felt...good. Where once before it felt wrong to be talking to him through it, it now seemed more normal, almost encouraged. It was weird, causing a multitude of questions to swirl round Rey’s head. 

“Rey?”

Rey snapped herself away from her thoughts, looking over to Ben sat at the dining table. 

“Come eat.”

About to decline the somewhat offer, Rey suddenly became very aware of how hungry she actually was, now unable to turn down any food placed in front of her. 

Sitting at the table, Rey to the side and Ben at the head, they ate silently. Surprisingly it was wonderful, although Rey supposed her years of starving had prevented her from becoming a fussy eater. But the food did taste delicious, the idea of Ben cooking it amusing her slightly. 

“Something funny?”

Ben could sense her amusement through the bond, worried that his taste for food was actually terrible. 

“Sorry. It’s just, I never expected you to be able to cook so well.”

Ben remained silent for a moment before mumbling a small thanks, unsure of how to respond. Silence rested over them once again, the same comfortable feeling blossoming again. 

“You won’t have to wear my clothes much longer, I’ve organised for you to be fitted tomorrow so you have your own clothes.”

Rey nodded, slightly sad that she wouldn’t be able to wear the comfy baggy clothes much longer. They were nice and warm, and dare she say it, they smelt like Ben. Something she never thought she would be wanting to know, but she couldn’t help but admit that he smelt amazing. 

Breaking away from her thoughts once again, Rey finished her mouthful before thanking him for being so considerate of her. 

The rest of the evening involved them eating quietly, followed by them watching the holo screen before Rey decided she was tired. She still felt bad for having Ben’s bed but her aching bones had no sympathy, ready to dive into the silk sheets and feather mattress. Sinking into the sheets, Rey couldn’t help but notice Ben’s scent on them once again, snuggling into the covers for comfort. She couldn’t explain why it offered her such comfort, but she accepted it, too tired to rack her brain for answers. 

Sleep came easy to her, easing her body into a restful state. However, the peace was short lived as her mind began to show her a vision like dream. 

_At first all she could hear was screams, unsure of where they came from or who’s they were. She was alone in a dark space, unsure of how or why she was there. She felt alone, just like on Jakku. No one there to hold her, to comfort her, to support her. Just herself and her thoughts._

_ “Rey...” _

_Turning around, there was Ben, his hand reached out towards her. She wasn’t alone. Running towards him, she felt herself collide with a shield of some sort. A barrier between them, separating them. Ben kept his hand out, desperately trying to reach her own hand. Rey fought against the barrier, trying to get to him, when suddenly bright lightening lit up the dark room. For a second, her surroundings appeared, although Rey could only make out some jagged rocks._

_It was dark again, darker than before, Ben no longer visible. Trying to move forward, trying to find where he had gone, Rey called out his name repeatedly. She started to panic, unable to find him, until she suddenly burst through the barrier. Catching herself from falling, Rey ran towards where Ben had been, trying to find him. And she did. But she was too late._

_ His body lay in a pool of blood, his lower abdomen pierced with a lightsaber wound, the colour from his face gone. And, in the blood’s reflection was the glow of a double ended red saber.  _

Bolting upright from her sleep, Rey found herself covered in sweat with laboured breaths. It took her a second or two to recognise her surroundings, Ben entering the room in a rush by the time she realised she was in his bed. He stood near the door, lightsaber ignited in his hand. Both were breathing heavily, Ben obviously sensing the panic in Rey’s mind during the dream. 

“You okay?”

Rey nodded, unsure of what to do. She felt terrified of what she had seen. It made no sense to her, but she couldn’t help but think that the person wielding the double ended saber was a new enemy reaching out to her. It scared her. 

“Just a bad dream.”

Ben didn’t seem convinced, staring at her from the doorway, his bare chest and sleep-distressed hair giving Rey a small distraction from the horrid feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

“If you’re certain.”

With that, Ben turned to leave, hesitating slightly before leaving. It was as if he didn’t want to leave himself. In all honesty, Rey didn’t want him too either. She could still sense him behind the door, his lingering there giving her more strength to ask him to stay. 

‘Rey...do you want me to stay?’

His voice was quiet in her head, as if he was scared of someone hearing them talking, even though no one could. 

Rey remained quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say. She was stronger than this, she’d dealt with nightmares before, growing up alone in Jakku, but this once had hit her differently. Besides, now that she had the option to be comforted, was it so wrong of her to want to indulge in that whilst she could. 

‘Yes...’

The moment the words left her mind, the blast doors to the bedroom were opened and in came Ben, wasting no time getting into the bed. He didn’t touch her, letting her take full control of how he would comfort her.

Instead, they both laid facing each other, neither one saying a word as they slowly drifted off to sleep. 


	8. Chapter 8

When Ben woke up, he wasn’t alone, the feeling usually resulting from an enemy sneaking up on him. However this time, there was no enemy. Just Rey. 

She looked so small, cuddled close against his chest, his arm around her tiny waist. He couldn’t help but notice how she looked when she slept, her long eyelashes lightly flickering, her nose occasionally scrunching whenever she moved, the way her lips pursed every so often. She was a new kind of pure and gentle that Ben had never seen before. He knew how strong she was, he had experienced it first time, and always deep down seen her as beautiful then. But now, seeing her so vulnerable and calm, it completely changed the definition of beautiful to simply being her. She had been by his side less than 24 standard hours and yet Ben could already feel the changes inside him. She truly was the epitome of hope, light and purity, managing to break down his internal fortress without even trying. 

Or, perhaps she was right. Maybe Ben never really did leave. Maybe, just maybe, he had simply stayed hidden, too scared to try and take back control. 

Either way, no matter what the reason was, Ben couldn’t let himself lose sight of what he wanted. To rule the galaxy...with her. The thought made him chuckle. Before he knew she existed, he had simply wanted to please Snoke so he could gain power and eventually rule the galaxy with an iron fist. But then, she came into the picture and within an instant, from the moment he met her, he couldn’t see that future without her. Even if he didn’t realise it at that time. The moment they touched hands merely confirmed his internal queries, showing him the route he had to take.

Unable to resist, Ben moved his hand from her waist, slowly moving a loose strand of hair from her face. He hadn’t noticed last night, too worried that she was in danger, but she had taken her hair down, letting long strands of not quite straight hair fall down her back and neck. 

As his fingers touched her face, he felt her stir, unsure whether or not he should act like he was still asleep. Seeing her sleep hugging eyes soon held him in place, unable to look away even if he wanted to. He was expecting her to push him away, to shout at him for touching her without her permission, but instead she just smiled, closing her eyes again before stretching slightly. 

“Good morning.”

Rey’s morning voice was groggy and slightly raspy, earning a smirk on Ben’s face. If she carried on like this, he’d end up a pile of mush instead of a fearsome ruler in no time. 

“Morning.”

Rey turned slightly, looking at the viewport, forgetting in the midst of her sleep fog that space doesn’t alter much at any given time of the day. It was always dark and cold, a void without colour. 

Turning back, Rey seemed to notice how close they really were, slightly blushing. 

“Sorry, I guess I’m a cuddler. I would’ve warned you, but I don’t usually share a bed with someone.”

Ben smirked again, allowing his sleep clouded mind to control him, letting even more of him, the real him, seep out. He’d probably regret it later, but right now he didn’t care. 

“Me neither.”

Silence set over them, each being content in the other’s arms for the time being. 

“Rey...”

Rey let out a hum in response, looking up at Ben who always seemed to tower over her. 

“I think it’s best if we don’t tell anyone about this.”

Rey gave him a questioning look, moving to lean on her arm so she could see him better. 

“What do you mean?”

“I just think if everyone knew I comforted you after you had a nightmare then the tough Kylo Ren wouldn’t really work anymore.”

Rey let out a huff, finding the whole thing rather amusing. 

“Well for starters, you don’t have to worry, I don’t know anyone on the ship so who am I going to talk to?”

She did have a good point, but Ben still needed to know she wouldn’t let this secret slip. 

“Besides, I’d rather not have anyone else know about a nightmare causing me such issues...”

That made sense. She’s strong and wouldn’t want to be seen as weak. Ben knew this far too well. 

“But really, I don’t get why it’s any concern for Kylo Ren.”

Ben raised an eyebrow, throughly confused by her. 

“What do you mean?”

“I know this is you. It’s Ben, not your mask.”

Ben looked down at her, unsure on what to say. On one hand, she was right. He had felt a lot more like himself, the old him since having her in his life. But on the other, he had a ship and galaxy to rule, and accepting that maybe, just maybe, he was starting to return to his old self would not aid in that. 

Deciding he needed to focus, Ben let his face fall neutral, moving out of the bedsheets, leaving a confused Rey in his wake. 

“I’m going to shower. Entertain yourself. I’ll be gone most of the day anyway so don’t expect any company except that of the tailors.”

And with that he left for the fresher, leaving a stunned Rey in bed. Looked like she would have to slowly pick away at his layers, slowly making her way to the true Ben. Pushing it would always end up with him returning to his Kylo Persona, acting as if everyone was below him and he felt nothing. 

Feeling slightly disheartened by the quick turn around of her morning, Rey made her way through to the kitchen, grabbing a snack from one of the containers. She would have to get washed and dressed once Ben was gone, ready for her clothes fitting. 

The rest of her day after the fitters had been had consisted of her sitting on the sofa watch programmes on the holo screen. The next day was the same along with the next. She’d even taken to meditation but even that became boring. She felt like a prisoner now, unable to do anything without asking permission. She hated it, and she let Ben, or rather, Kylo know. 

He had been off with her ever since that morning, ignoring her and only coming back to his quarters once she was asleep. He had left her alone once again, like everyone else who said they wouldn’t. However, she knew he wasn’t as mad as he made out. She could feel it. The way he would hesitate at the bedroom door whenever he returned, unsure on whether or not to talk to her. He knew she was awake, but he alwaysstayed away, silently checking she was okay by sensing her feelings. 

Rey’s nightmares continued, each one the same but with slight differences. Each time, the surroundings became clearer, as did the reflection of the enemy who killed Ben. It shook her to her core, Ben knew that. It took everything in his being to not run into the room as he heard her terrified screams. Each night he often found himself sat against the blast doors, awaiting for her to settle down and go back to sleep. He let her feel his presence, though he didn’t let her communicate with him. He wanted to help her, but he wasn’t ready to give up everything he had fought for with so many sacrifices. 

It was Rey’s fourth day onboard the Finalizer when he finally acknowledged her. They were both sat eating the meal Ben had ordered for them, neither talking. 

“Your quarters should be ready by tomorrow. Your clothes are already there.”

Rey nodded, knowing that meant she would be leaving him, left alone in her own space without any control. At least on Jakku she was able to have some control over her life. 

Ben tighter his grip on his utensils as he heard her thoughts, oblivious to the fact she had wanted him to hear. Surely she knew why he was acting this way. 


	9. Chapter 9

Ben sent Rey a dark look, trying his hardest to not let his rage take over him once again. He never really tried to control it before, but the last thing he wanted was to accidentally hurt her. Although, it seemed he may be too late there, even if it wasn’t physically. She was losing her trust in him. He could feel it. But she didn’t help, making it so hard to stay calm around her. Obviously she didn’t understand politics and how he had to follow procedures instead of just doing whatever he wanted.

“Don’t you realise why I’ve been gone so much the last few days?”

Rey shrugged, not very impressed with his harsh tone. She had made herself clear that she only had time for Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. Ben wasn’t very impressed by this. 

Pushing up from the table, Ben grabbed Rey’s wrist, pulling her up from the table and making her follow him wherever he was going. The touch surprised Rey, startling her slightly at first. It came across as if it was rough and forceful, however his actual hold on her wrists was soft, loose enough that she could easily pull her hand away if she wanted. But she was far too interested in where he was taking her to pull away. 

Ben stalked across the room from the kitchen to the set of blast doors opposite that had remained locked ever since Rey had been onboard the Finalizer. Placing his bare hand on the key pad, followed by entering a code, the doors opened, showing another dimly lit room. It was a small room, black like the others with minimal lights. In the centre of the room was a podium holding a familiar melted mask. Darth Vader’s mask. But that wasn’t what Ben wanted her to see. 

Pulling her along through the room towards a set of blast doors adjacent to the ones in his own room, they entered into another dimly lit room, this one oddly familiar. It was Ben’s room, but backwards. A complete reflection of the room. 

“These are your quarters.”

Ben’s words were barely a mumble as he stopped in the centre of the room briefly, his head down and his hold still there around her right wrist. Before Rey could speak, Ben continued to walk towards the bedroom, Rey following slightly behind, unsure on what he was trying to do. But she trusted him, so she let him lead her along. 

Soon, they stopped outside of a door, what she assumed to be her wardrobe due to the similar layout. 

“Take a look.”

Unsure of Ben’s plans still, Rey walked towards the room, opening the doors to a room full of luxurious clothes. The colour range sat mainly with blacks and greys, a few navy pieces and the occasional white or cream piece. But that wasn’t all. They were not like her normal clothes, no, these were expensive. High end. Crafted with detail and passion. Majority were floor length dresses, all simple and plain, yet elegant. Rey couldn’t believe it, they were hers? 

Looking around, expensive jewellery lay in draws around the room, boots and heels on low shelves. It was far more clothes than she had ever owned in her entire life. 

Turning to look at Ben stood in the doorway, her hands resting on the fabric of one of the dresses, she let a genuine smile spread across her face. 

“These are...for me?”

Ben nodded, amused with her childlike reaction. He supposed she’d never had anything like this, growing up on such as desolate planet on her own. But that would change from now on. 

“An empress deserves the very best.”

“Empress?”

Ben nodded, walking towards her slowly. 

“You’re my equal, making you the Empress.”

Rey nodded, taking it in although she was still unsure of how she would fit into everything. 

“And tomorrow, I expect you on the bridge beside me, taking on your first day as the official Empress of the First Order.”

Rey’s wide eyes met Ben’s, shock evident within her. 

“You want me to join you? On the bridge? What will I do? How are the troops going to take to me being there?”

Ben instinctively moved his arms to rest his hands on her shoulders, trying to draw her away from her anxieties. Noticing her eyes soften, his hands slowly slipped to her forearms, remaining there as he spoke. 

“Why do you think I’ve been so busy? I’ve been organising the crew so that your position would be accepted without you being questioned. There was no point in you being in the boring meetings with generals who think they run the ship and not me.”

Rey let out a chuckle, slowly seeing why he had been so off lately. It didn’t explain his rude morning behaviour, but she had put that down to her pushing him too much. Something she would have to take into account in the future. 

“Guess you’re not as mean as you make out, Kylo Ren.”

Poking his chest slightly, Rey felt him tense at her touch, the air becoming more serious between them almost instantly. They remained still, their eyes locked as Ben’s hands sat on her forearms. He found himself looking down at her lips once again, an action he had subconsciously done in the turbolift to Snoke’s throne room. Surprisingly, Rey’s eye seemed to match his own, staring with a sense of longing that matched his own. 

Ben’s hands slowly ran down her arms, making their way to her waist as he pulled her close to him. They could feel the heat radiating off of each other, all of it adding to the tension that was forever growing between them. Neither dared look away, unsure of what would happen if they did. 

Feeling himself losing control, Ben let one of his hands gently rest against Rey’s cheeks. She truly was beautiful; pure and light in every form. Too good for him. 

Accepting the truth, Ben slowly moved forward, his lips brushing lightly against her forehead in a feather-like kiss. Rey closed her eyes, savouring the feeling. 

Once he pulled away, he pulled her tight against him, wrapping his arms around her in a warm embrace. Whilst it was an action neither of them were very familiar with, it felt nothing but natural. This bond between them was very confusing, but one thing was certain, it wanted them to be close. It always seemed to act up when they were far away, but when they were close like this, they had control. 

A comfortable silence set over them as Ben held Rey, her arms looped around his broad waist and back. 

“You don’t have to worry about tomorrow. Everything is in place so you won’t be questioned of your position. Just stay by my side, and we’ll be fine.”

Rey smiled, noticing it was now ‘we’ll be fine’ instead of ‘you’ll be fine’. Looked like slowly picking away at Kylo Ren was the best way to get Ben back. She just had to be patient. 

Pulling away, Ben cleared his throat slightly, becoming aware of how vulnerable he had let himself become. How weak he was becoming. 

“Get some rest. I’ve designated a group of my most trusted Stormtroopers as your personal guards. They will be with you whenever you leave your quarters.”

Rey raised her eyebrow at him, knowing full well she didn’t need her own protection parade. He knew it too, but didn’t want to take any chances. 

“Be ready for an early start, the dressers will be here in the morning.”

Ben moved, slowly making his way towards the room exit before Beijing stopped by Rey’s voice. 

“Dressers?”

“Yes, to do your hair and makeup.”

“Makeup?”

Ben was already making his way out of the room, a slightly confused Rey following behind him. 

“You need to make a good impression as Empress.”

“So I need to cover my face like you do then?”

Ben knew she didn’t need makeup, in fact the dressers knew to make it as minimal as possible by his own orders, but he could see how Rey possible interpreted it. He didn’t want her to have to hide like he did. 

Turning around to face Rey, both of them now in the living area, Ben tried to explain. 

“Believe me, I’m not giving you a mask. Just see how it is when they do it. If you don’t like it, tell them to remove it. You’re the Empress, so you decide.”

Rey nodded slowly, a small ‘Oh’ leaving her lips. 

Ben couldn’t help but smirk at her. 

“The doors adjoining our quarters will remain unlocked now, so if you need me, I’ll be here.”

Rey was going to object, stating that she didn’t need protecting, however she caught herself before she did. He wasn’t meaning incase of an intruder, he was talking about her nightmares. The fact he had offered himself to her in some way filled her with happiness, hoping he would no longer hide behind her bedroom doors. Perhaps he was starting to like the changes in himself. 

Smiling at each other, they said their goodbyes. 

“Goodnight, Rey.”

“Goodnight, Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the love this story has received already! I love hearing your feedback and thoughts about the story so far so please feel free to comment x


	10. Chapter 10

When Ben woke up, he soon realised he was no longer in his room. Instead, he was in Rey’s bed, her head resting against his chest as his arms lay wrapped around her waist. He hadn’t exactly planned to end up in her bed, but he’d sensed her nightmares like all the other nights, hearing her screams as he made his way closer to her room. It seemed like they were getting worse, each night lasting longer than the previous, her screams getting louder. After the way they’d been in the wardrobe earlier on, he should’ve kept his distance, allowing himself to build his walls once again, however he gave in, wanting nothing more than to soothe her pained screams.

And so he’d woken her up, holding her as she calmed down, resulting in them holding each other as they fell asleep. Ben briefly remembered Rey making a comment about the new Empress making her debut with bags under her eyes before she fell asleep, causing him to chuckle. She truly was something. 

Feeling her stir, Ben looked down towards her, catching her light brown eyes in a mutual gaze. 

“Morning.”

“Morning. How you feeling?”

Rey yawned, sleep still clinging on to her as she moved to sit up in the bed. Ben noticed she’d kept his clothes on as pyjamas, feeling warm at the sight. 

“Good thanks. Sorry for waking you up...again.”

Ben shrugged it off, not wanting her to dwell on it too much. Today was important for them both and the last thing he needed was her panicking about him being tired. He’d had worse nights sleep. 

Moving to get out of the bed, Ben quickly turned back to look at Rey. 

“I better go before the dressers get here. I’ll see you soon.”

Ben fought back the temptation to plant another kiss on her forehead, not wanting to overstep their unspoken boundaries. 

Without another word spoken between them, Ben left towards his quarters, leaving Rey alone in her room. She could quite happily stay in the warm bed, taking in Ben’s scent and falling back to sleep. But she knew better, unable to avoid the days plans. She knew she had been looking forward to today, finally being involved, but she couldn’t help but feel anxious. 

‘Stop worrying, Rey. I’ll be right by your side.’

Rey smiled, happy to hear Ben’s voice in her head. Unable to put off the day any longer, Rey made her way towards the fresher, showering before the dressers arrived. She’d never get over the wonderful feeling of fresh hot water on her skin, not missing the cold showers at the resistance at all. 

As soon as Rey finished with her shower, towel wrapped around her figure, she was met with a knock at her door. Rushing through to main entrance, Rey opened the door, blushing slightly as she was met with two young women. The women smiled, introducing themselves as her dressers, both seeming to be pleasant women with warm smiles. 

Rey let them escort her to the vanity in her bedroom, one brushing her hair whilst the other dealt with her makeup. They spoke between themselves quietly, excluding Rey from the conversation. Rey didn’t see this as them being rude however, more likely due to them being used to being ignored by the higher ups. Something Rey wasn’t going to continue in her reign. 

“May I know your names?”

The women halted their actions, looking between themselves before smiling at Rey. 

“Certainly, Empress. I’m Isabelle.”

“And I’m Tori.”

Rey smiled back at them, feeling more at ease with them already. 

“I’m Rey.”

They both smiled, continuing with their duties. Looking in the mirror, Rey took in their details. Isabelle looked around mid to late twenties, dark black hair showing slivers of navy blue seeping through, contrasting with the brightness of her brown eyes. Tori was around a similar age, perhaps slightly younger, with blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Both wore their hair back in a bun, their dark uniforms in pristine condition. 

Silence had taken over the three of them, the pair of older women too busy with their tasks. Rey appreciated the fact they weren’t going overboard with her makeup, adding only powder and mascara, along with some lip balm. 

“There, done.”

Moving away to admire their work, the women watched as Rey looked amazed at her self, taking in her new appearance. Turning, she noticed her hair pulled back into a singular bun, a braid running down the side of head continuing into the bun itself. It was beautiful. 

“We were informed we wouldn’t need to do much, but we didn’t realise how beautiful you truly were, Empress.”

Rey blushed slightly, turning to face the pair. 

“I don’t know about that.”

The duo quickly moved, gathering into the wardrobe before returning with a long black gown in their hands. Holding it up to show her, Rey gasped. 

“Don’t you think it’s a bit much for everyday duties.”

Isabelle smiled, shaking her head. 

“You’re the Empress, you can wear whatever you want.”

Tori let out a small chuckle, showing Rey a knowing smile. 

“The Supreme Leader requested this dress for today too, Empress.”

Rey raised an eyebrow. Whatever was he up to?

“Very well.”

Letting Isabelle and Tori help her, Rey changed into the extravagant dress. It wasn’t until the dress was completely on that Rey turned to look in the mirror, shocked at the sight. She’d never worn something so expensive. 

The long black material lay flat against her figure, slowly becoming looser as the dress carried on. The long cape-like sleeves were a personal favourite for Rey, although she couldn’t help but find them impractical. Isabelle straighten out the dress and Rey’s hair as Tori place some small clip on earrings on Rey. She looked gorgeous, the pair telling her as she gawked at herself in the mirror. 

A knock at the main doors soon brought her back to reality, the women silently ushering her towards the over room and awaiting doors. Giving herself a minute to ready herself, Rey opened the doors, her eyes landing on Ben. He had his back to her slightly at first, but soon turned to see her, his blank expression slipping slightly as he looked at her. He made no effort in hiding his eyes looking her up and down from her, letting her know how amazing she truly was. 

‘You look amazing.’

Rey blushed slightly, feeling like an immature child from the action. 

‘Thank you.’

Ben moved slightly, allowing Rey to walk out, meeting his side as she took in the number of Stormtroopers surrounding them. Even though she had been here a few days now, she still felt tense whenever she was near them, unsure on whether or not they would attack. 

“Rey, meet your personal guard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to add photos to show you what dresses Rey will be wearing, but I’m not entirely sure yet on how to do that so I might have to think of something else


	11. Chapter 11

Rey looked at the dozen or more white stormtroopers in front of her, all in regimental form, not one out of line. A single stormtrooper stepped forward, catching Rey’s attention.

“It’s an honour to serve you, Empress.”

The stormtrooper held a fist across to her heart, the rest of the troopers matching in sync before releasing the hold, their arms returning to their sides. To say she was out of her comfort zone was a complete understatement. Ben seemed to pick up on Rey’s unease, placing a hand to the low of her back. 

“We’ll go over introductions later, commander. Right now, we have a meeting to attend.”

The stormtrooper nodded in response, moving to the side letting them through, the other stormtroopers parting so there was a path in front of them. Ben began to lead them down the halls, Rey noticing the sound of the stormtroopers following close behind. They didn’t walk too long, soon ending up at the bridge, all eyes gazing towards them. Or, more accurately, to Rey. 

Everyone rose to their feet, saluting in response to seeing both the Supreme Leader and the new Empress. The sight made Rey uncomfortable, but she tried to push it away, reassuring Ben over the bond that she was simply not used to it yet. 

A man walked towards them, one she recognised unfortunately. General Hux. His face showed nothing but displeasure, unwilling to put on a somewhat welcoming face for Rey. She knew he didn’t like her, and she quite frankly didn’t like him. But he still should show her respect surely. 

‘He should. Say the word and I’ll make him.’

Rey smirked slightly, making Hux’s face grow red with annoyance, unsure of why she was currently smirking at him. 

‘Not yet, let him squirm for awhile.’

It was Ben’s turn to smirk this time, the action catching Hux off guard once again. No sooner than the smirk had appeared, it was gone, not letting Hux have the liberty of seeing him being anything other than terrifying. 

“General Hux.”

Hux bowed slightly, annoyance still clear on his pale face. 

“Supreme Leader...Empress.”

Hux turned to address her, distaste evident in his voice. 

“Nice to finally have you involved with the First Order’s business.”

The comment was snide, making Ben clench his fist, ready to choke him without hesitation.

‘Relax, Ben.’

Listening to her gentle voice, Ben watched as Rey eyed Hux up and down, a sudden boost of confidence hitting her. 

“I thought it was about time I made sure the First Order was being run appropriately.”

Rey gave a daring glare at Hux, egging him on to say something back to her. Instead, he bit his tongue, moving so the pair could make their way further down the bridge to view the large ships course. 

Rey could still feel eyes on her, her own meeting with dozens of fleeting gazes each time eye contact was made. They seemed scared of her, unsure of how to act around her. Rey didn’t want the whole crew to fear her, just Hux. Finally finding a female crew member who held eye contact with her, Rey gave a gentle smile towards her. The woman gave a hesitant one back, unsure on how to respond. It would take time, but Rey was determined to have respect, not fear. 

“Supreme Leaders...”

Hux’s voice broke her away from the woman, already annoyed with whatever he had to say. 

“The board are ready to see you.”

Ben nodded, looking towards Rey before turning to leave, Rey walking close beside him. She wasn’t sure what the meeting was about, however she could give a guess that it was most likely to do with her arrival and sudden promotion to Empress. 

Walking towards the board room, following Hux, she could practically feel the smug look on his face. He was planning something, but what exactly. There was something about this man that didn’t sit well with Rey, Ben sharing the same feeling. 

As they entered the board room, everyone at the long glass table rose, all staring at Rey as she entered with Ben by her side. He lead the way towards the head of the table, gesturing at the seat to the left of him that had been left for Rey. Taking the seat, still unsure on how to feel about the people staring at her, she looked to Ben, watching him as he introduced her to all of the generals and superiors. 

They all acknowledged her, a few nodding there head towards her, others saying ‘welcome’ to her. Overall, they seemed like kiss-ups, not wanting to upset Kylo Ren. Ben continued the meeting, discussing topics such as fuel systems, if there had been any more attacks and the location of the Rebels. That had caught Rey’s attention, Ben’s eyes darting over to her before speaking about it. They were on Crait, a desolate planet with little supplies. Many had been lost in the attack and now they were cornered. It worried Rey, not wanting to be part of any possible attacks on them in the future. 

“Empress?”

Rey looked down the table to meet Hux’s gaze, a conniving glint in his eyes. Raising her head slightly, she allowed Hux to continue. 

“You were previously part of the Rebels, correct?”

So this was where he was going. He was going to expose her as a traitor to them all. 

“Correct.”

Rey ensured her voice was strong, not wanting to look weak in front of the people around the table. 

“And you weren’t just anyone were you? You were their new hope, their young Jedi.”

Heads at the table began to look at Rey, the feeling of piercing eyes narrowed on her becoming heavy. Ben was getting angry too, Rey could feel it. Luckily, their close proximity allowed Rey to carefully reach for Ben’s hand under the table, trying to calm him down. It worked, although she knew it was only temporary. 

“What are you trying to get at, Hux?”

Rey made a point of not using his title, wanting to belittle the meddling man. She knew something like this would happen, she just didn’t expect it so soon. 

“Nothing, Empress. Simply trying to work out where your loyalties lie.”

Rey rose from her chair, already having enough from Hux. She sacrificed too much just to have an over confident general ruin it all now. 

“Let me make myself clear then, General Hux.”

Rey began to slowly walk towards Hux’s position at the middle of the table, her eyes locked on his like a predator hunting it’s prey. 

“I left the rebels because I believed there was something that I could be used for here at the First Order. I accepted the Supreme Leader’s offer of becoming his equal because it meant I could make change for the benefit of all of the First Order. I won’t be sharing Rebel secrets, nor do I intend to. Instead, I will focus on helping the First Order improve from the inside out, preventing anyone from questioning the First Order’s rule.”

Looking down at the man sat in the chair before her, Rey let herself glare at him before leaning down to his level. 

“And I’ll get rid of anything or anyone necessary.”

Rey could feel everyone’s eyes on her, Ben’s included. In fact, his were the most noticeable, the feeling of his gaze practically burning through her. 

Turing her head to look at the table in front of her, Rey spoke once again. 

“Do I make myself clear?”

Multiple replies of ‘Yes, Empress’ were heard around the table before Hux let out his own, his voice quiet. 

Satisfied with the response, Rey moved back from the table, looking over at the head of the table. Ben’s eyes met hers, a feeling of something Rey hadn’t experienced before washing over the bond. They stared at each other for a moment, before Ben forcefully pushed his chair away from the table. 

“That shall be all today.”

Ben practically strode his way over to Rey, his hand resting on the bottom of her back once again, the pair turning to leave. Neither paid attention to the responses of the board members, too occupied in leaving the room hastily. However, something did hold them back. 

Feeling a hand tightly grip her wrist, Rey turned around, Ben carrying on a few steps before realising she’d stopped. Following the hand squeezing her wrist, her eyes met with those of an enraged General Hux. He was livid to say the least, his nails pressing deep into Rey’s wrist, potentially drawing blood. 

Almost instantly, the Commander was right beside her, her blaster aimed directly for Hux. 

“Let the Empress go, General Hux.”

Hux ignored her command, along with the other half a dozen stormtroopers who’s blasters were also aimed to kill him. He said nothing, letting his stare be enough to get his message across. He would get payback. 

“General Hux, release the Empress now.” 

Rey could hear the stormtroopers ready to kill him, Ben ready to slice him where he stood, but Rey simply told them to remain still, holding her other hand up as a signal. 

Staring deeply at Hux, Rey watched as his grip loosened, his hands moving to hold his head in pain. Dropping to the floor, Hux let out moans of pain, unsure of what was happening. 

“I suggest you don’t mess with me, Genera Hux.”


	12. Chapter 12

Rey felt a hand on her lower back, Ben’s hand, applying a gentle pressure. That was enough for her to snap out of it, releasing Hux as if she was coming out of a bad dream. Looking at Ben, she felt nothing but self hatred, unable to believe how she had lost control so easily. Ben’s eyes were unreadable, too busy focusing on Rey.

Wasting no time, Ben escorted themaway from the room, heading towards their quarters with the group of troopers following behind. Ben didn’t care what any of the generals had to say, right now ensuring Rey was okay was his priority. It didn’t take them long to get to their quarters, Ben instructing the troopers to guard both of the doors as he lead Rey into his quarters. 

Moving her over to the sofa, Ben crouched down in front of her, his gaze meeting her glazed over eyes. She looked dead, unsure of what she had done or the person she had become. She could’ve killed Hux right then and there. She knew that, she could feel it. That voice encouraging her to tighten her grip on his mind. 

“Rey...”

Ben rested his hands on her knees, hoping to get her attention, pulling her away from her thoughts. Rey’s watery eyes met Ben’s concerned ones, tears falling down her cheeks silently. Leaning forward, Ben removed his glove, letting his bare hand run over her cheek, wiping away the salty streams. He had never been so tender with someone before, but it felt natural with Rey, finding any other action unfitting for their complicated relationship. 

“Rey...what happened?”

Rey sniffed slightly, trying to stop her tears from falling as she looked at Ben. 

“I...I wanted him to feel pain. I don’t know how I did it...but as soon as I thought it, it happened. I made him feel pain...”

Ben closed his eyes, understanding where she was coming from. 

“I lost control, Ben. I became a monster!”

“Hey, hey. Don’t say that.”

Ben continued to wipe her tears away, removing his other glove so that he could place both of his bare hands on her cheeks to cradle her face. She looked devastated. 

“It was the dark side, wasn’t it?”

Ben nodded, moving his hands to brush her hair out of her face before pulling her against his chest, Ben straightening his back so he could support her. He felt her softly crying as he brushed her hair with his hand, the other circling around her waist. At some point, Ben pulled her to the floor with him, Rey now sat on his lap as she hid herself against his chest. 

Even now, crying her eyes out into his chest, Ben couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked. She looked radiant in the gown, her hair and makeup perfect for her. He wanted to tell her how amazing she looked, but now wasn’t the time. Instead, he let her cry into him, his arms holding her tightly, suddenly feeling very protective of her. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt her, nor whilst he was around. 

As her sobs died down, Ben decided to try and talk to her. 

“I guess you finally understand how I feel.”

Rey turned her head, looking up at him from his chest. 

“What do you mean?”

“You’re fear of slipping so easily into the darkness, it’s exactly how I feel when I slip into the light.”

Moving his hand to lightly rub her waist, he looked directly at her. 

“It’s how I feel right now. Terrified.”

Rey sat up in his lap slightly, placing her hand at the nape of his neck as she looked into his eyes. He truly looked scared on the inside, unsure on how to act. Smiling slightly, Rey began to play with the tips of his hair, noticing how he jumped slightly at the feeling. 

“I guess we’re both going to help each other get used to a balance then.”

“A balance?”

Rey nodded, resting her head against his shoulder as she continued, still playing with his hair. 

“Yeah. No one in the force is completely light or dark. Vader himself had light left in him when he saved Luke. And Luke...”

Rey noticed how Ben’s grip on her tightened slightly whenever she mentioned his old mentor. 

“...he’s not all light, as we’ve both seen. And now, you’ve seen that neither am I. But, if we can somehow learn to create a balance, controlling both sides, we could rule the galaxy fairly. We could make it a better place, without having to get rid of anymore people.”

Ben sighed, listening intently to her words. He wanted to believe her, that maybe a balance could be found. He knew she was hinting at not having to attack the rebels, although he feared that not having to plan anymore attacks would be being too optimistic. But, the point she made about them ruling together, being fair to people, that intrigued him. He’d been raised to be just one thing, but maybe he could accept both the light and dark sides of him. And maybe, she would accept them too. 

Moving his head to look at hers resting against his shoulder, Ben moved to plant a soft kiss against her forehead. Rey closed her eyes, welcoming the soothing feeling of it. She want quite sure how far the meaning for it went, whether it was just to keep her calm or if it was meant to be taken more intimate. Either way, she would always welcome the action, enjoying the feeling of Ben’s light shining through. 

They stayed this way for awhile, Ben sat on the floor, Rey cuddled up on his lap, her head resting on his shoulder. They were both too busy with their own thoughts, enjoying the other’s company whilst they dealt with their inner demons. It took awhile, but Ben soon had an idea. 

“Let me train you.”

Rey turned her head to look up at him again, confusion evident on her face. 

“Let me train you to control the dark side. I’ll help you try and reach a balance.”

Rey thought over it for a moment, taking everything into account. It would be good for her to train with Ben, to gain some of his skills from years of Jedi training and training under Snoke. But it still scared her, the feeling of the darkness pulling her. 

“Okay...but on one condition.”

Ben nodded, encouraging her to speak her terms. 

“Let me help you with your light. I can see you don’t want this destruction anymore. Everyday I see more light inside you.”

Rey rested her hand against his cheek, staring deeply into his eyes. She could feel herself being drawn towards his lips once again, his eyes matching her own. 

“Okay...”

Ben’s voice was quiet, his hand on her waist tightening slightly as he pulled her closer. Resting his forehead against hers, he could feel their breath mixing, the feelings inside him becoming too much. He wanted to kiss her, just like he had wanted to in the lift. But he didn’t want to push the boundary of their complex bond. 

‘It’s okay. You can...’

Rey’s voice was soft in his head, his eyes meeting hers for confirmation that her voice wasn’t his imagination. But it wasn’t, her eyes giving him the courage to move his hand to her cheek, moving a strand of hair from her face before slowly closing the distance between them. 

Their lips met in a slow kiss, both unsure of how to react. It was new for both of them, yet it felt so natural, as if they had been doing it for years. Pulling away slightly to look at her eyes, Ben smiled slightly before pulling her closer once again as their lips met in a more fiery kiss. There was such passion behind it that it became overwhelming, both of their hands grasping each other’s clothes as their tongues tangled. 

Rey let out an involuntary moan as Ben deepened the kiss, his hold on her waist tightening in reaction. She felt utter bliss as they kissed, ignoring the thoughts in the back of her mind saying he was the enemy. No matter what anyone said now, she couldn’t leave his side. It was as if every time they touched, the bond between them stitched their souls together even more, stitch by stitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the Chapter. FINALLY IT HAPPENED!
> 
> Fun fact: I wasn’t going to let them kiss yet since I thought it was too soon, but after hearing Adam Driver wanting them to kiss in the turbolift before the throne room scene, and just the feeling of this chapter as I was writing it, it felt right. Please let me know if I did right or not?


	13. Chapter 13

Ben’s fingers tangled with Rey’s hair in her bun, pulling pieces out in the process as he slowly lowered her to the floor. Not breaking the kiss, Ben hovered over her, his legs either side of her as they continued to kiss passionately. He felt like he’d been holding back the urge to kiss her all of his life, unsure of what life was like before this moment. To think a kiss could change his emotions so much was insane, yet not impossible. Their bond was most likely to blame, obviously wanting them to be as close as possible. 

Pulling away briefly, Ben looked at Rey’s breathless face, feeling himself loosing control with the way she looked. By this point, he’d figured that no matter how she looked, his eyes would always see her as beautiful. 

Not quite ready to let their heated moment die down, Ben leaned down towards her once again, moving his head towards her neck. He felt her gasp as he slowly kissed along her neck, sucking slightly in certain areas, but not enough to mark her. The sounds she was making, the way she quietly moaned when he let his kiss linger drove him insane. She would be the death of him if he wasn’t careful. 

Lowering his kisses, Ben tried to kiss along her collarbone, struggling against the collar of the dress. 

“Why’d you have to pick this dress?”

Rey chuckled slightly at his mumbled voice, running her hands through his hair. 

“I think you picked it out actually.”

Moving his head to look down at her, Ben smirked. 

“Oh yeah. Although now, I’d much rather take it off you.”

Not giving Rey the chance to respond, Ben closed the gap between their lips once again, tongues entangling in a passion filled dance. Rey let out a moan as Ben rubbed his hand up and down her waist, careful not to touch her anywhere too intimate. Whilst he could quite easily take her on the floor of his lounge, he held himself back, not wanting to ruin something that felt so pure. 

After a few minutes of intense kissing and roaming hands, they broke apart, foreheads resting against each other as they tried to catch their breath. Both wore smiles on their faces, unable to break away from the euphoria they were feeling at that moment. Rey was the first to break the silence between them. 

“Ben...I...”

Ben could feel her unease, worried that perhaps he had forced her into kissing him. However, a reassuring nudge across their bond soon shot that worry down, Rey reassuring him that the kiss, or rather many kisses, was indeed mutually desired. However, there was still something she was holding back. 

Running a hand over her cheek, Ben looked into her eyes, trying to give her encouragement to talk to him. 

“Ben...I don’t think I’m ready to...”

Ben quickly caught on to what she was trying to say, placing a gentle kiss on her lips with a tenderness that still felt foreign to him. 

“Don’t worry. We won’t. Not until you’re ready.”

Pushing himself up off the floor, moving off of her, Ben extended his hand to her. Rey smiled, reminded of how she ended up in this position in the first place. Taking his hand, Ben pulled her up off the floor, noticing how she flinched when he went to grab her other hand. Looking down, worried he had somehow hurt her during their heated moment of passion, he examined her right hand. 

Anger filled his stomach as he saw the scratch like markings running across her hand, the three rather deep cuts surrounding her wrist making him see red. 

Rey noticed his rising anger, touching his face with her other hand to get his attention. 

“I’m okay. Stop getting worked up over nothing.”

Turning to look back at her wrist, Ben examined her injuries from Hux further. Bruises were already forming around the indented cuts. 

“I still want to kill him.”

Rey scoffed, moving her hand slowly out of Ben’s hold. 

“I think he’s nearly seen death enough for one day.”

Whilst her voice was joking, Ben could still sense the part of self loathing clinging to her. It would take time, but they would eventually except who they were. They would just have to help each other get to that point. 

“Perhaps. Stay here.”

Moving her to sit on the sofa, Ben hastily walked towards his bedroom, re-emerging moments later with a med kit in his hand. Sitting in front of Rey, he started to take out a bacta pack. 

“Ben, you don’t have to do this...”

Looking up from the pack, hands frozen mid-tear, Ben looked into her eyes. 

“I want to.”

Rey smiled back, accepting the attention that she was not accustomed to. It seemed she would maybe have to get used to more things on the ship than she originally expected. However, she had a feeling that moments like this with Ben would be the ones she felt most comfortable with the quickest. 

Once Ben had finished bandaging her wrist, he held her hand in his for a moment, running his finger softly over her knuckles. Rey couldn’t get over how much of a different person he was when he was with her. He was so gentle, his touches reminding her of that of a feather. He treated her like she was fragile, and whilst that would most likely annoy her over time, it was far better than being stuck with the cruel and viscous Kylo Ren. 

They remained like this for an unknown span of time, too busy being comfortable with each other’s presence. A knock at Ben’s door soon broke them away from their bubble, eyes locked on the door. 

Ben rose from sofa, going to see what the issue was. Once he opened the doors, there stood the commander of Rey’s personal guard, the female stormtrooper standing strong as she requested to enter. Both Ben and Rey suddenly became aware of the state they looked. Ben’s hair was a mess, his lips swollen and his cape discarded haphazardly over a side table, forgotten the moment they kissed. Rey looked even worse, her lips swollen, dress wrinkled and intricately designed hair falling out of the hold in multiple places. However, they couldn’t really send the commander away without a good excuse. 

Moving aside, Ben let the commander in, waking with her towards Rey. 

“Empress, I wish to apologise for letting General Hux take ahold of you like that. Myself and my team will accept any punishment you see fit.”

Rey rose her seat, eyes worried. 

“Punishment? There’s really no need. You did nothing wrong, and I managed to deal with him in my own way...”

The commander nodded, acknowledging Rey’s statement. 

“However Empress, you were still hurt.”

The commander signalled towards Rey’s now carefully bandaged wrist and hand. Her injury really wasn’t bad at all, however everyone seemed ready to kill Hux for his actions, Ben included. 

‘Say the word and I’ll do it.’

‘Stop it.’

Ben smirked at Rey from behind the commander, finding her scolding him oddly endearing. 

Turning her attention back to the commander, Rey tried to get her point across. 

“Honestly Commander, my injuries are nothing more than a scratch. Because of this, I won’t be giving you or your team a punishment this time.”

Rey didn’t plan on ever punishing them, however she felt adding the opportunity was the only way for her to get anywhere with the commander. 

The trooper nodded, holding a fist above her heart as she bowed slightly. 

“Thank you, Empress.”

Before Rey could carry on the conversation, the doors opened to two Knights of Ren standing in the doorway.

“Sir, you are needed on the bridge. General Hux is speaking out against you.”

Groaning, Ben ran a hand over his face, grabbing his cloak as he stalked out of the room. 

‘I’ll be back soon.’

‘Just don’t kill him.’

‘I make no promises.’

Rey shook her head, looking back towards the commander in front of her. 

“If that is everything Empress, I will be taking my leave.”

Rey thought for a moment, feeling that the opportunity to get to know her well spoken Commander and her guards had finally arrived. 

“Actually, could you stay for awhile please? I have a favour to ask of you.”


	14. Chapter 14

The commander nodded at Rey, ready to act out any command Rey gave her.

“Of course, Empress.”

Rey smiled slightly, moving to sit back on the sofa, offering a seat at the side to the commander. She hesitated at first, not used to being allowed to sit with her superiors before, however she took the seat, encouraged by Rey’s gentle smile. 

“First off, do you have a name? I can’t keep calling you Commander. It makes me uneasy.”

“My identification code is DT-5162 if that is what you wish to call me, Empress.”

Rey shook her head, not a fan of the whole numbers for name system, her mind going back to Finn and how he once was in this very position. Rey couldn’t help but feel a little sad as she thought about her friend, unsure on whenever she would be able to see him again. That was, if he was still alive. Pulling away from her thoughts, Rey continued with her talk with the commander. 

“I’m not a fan of numbers being used for names.”

“It’s all we’ve ever known, Empress.”

Rey thought for a moment before coming up with a suggestion. 

“How would you like to come up with a name for yourself?”

“Ma’am?”

Rey ignored the new form of addressing her, too busy trying to make a change around the First Order, starting with her own personal guard. 

“Would you like to pick a name? Something for me to call you instead of a number? You can ask your crew as well, but only if they wish to have a name. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable around me.”

Rey could feel the commander’s eyes on her through the helmet, unsure on how she was feeling about her. This was new to Rey and she wanted to change things for the better, even if that meant by humanising her guards. They were living souls who deserved a name. 

After a brief pause, the commander nodded her head. 

“I will. Thank you, Empress. I’m sure the others will appreciate the opportunity as well.”

“Good.”

Rey smiled, feeling happy that she was slowly making progress. 

“Just let me know each of the teams names when they introduce themselves to me. I hope to know all of them personally in the next few days.”

Rey could sense the confusion in the commander, unsure on why Rey was giving them these privileges. 

“How many make up my guard again?”

“Fifteen. Sixteen including myself.”

Rey scoffed, sitting back against the sofa, becoming more comfortable with the soldiers presence. 

“Stars, how weak does he think I am?”

The commander watched Rey intently through the helmet, trying to understand the kind of person she was. She was almost certain that the ‘he’ mentioned was talking about the Supreme Leader, the smile on Rey’s face as she mentioned him causing the commander to suspect that there was a more personal reason for Rey becoming their Empress. 

“Commander?”

The commander nodded in acknowledgment, placing her full attention back on Rey. 

“May I see what you look like?”

“You wish for me to take off my helmet?”

The shock was evident in the commander’s voice, not used to such requests. Especially not from one of the highest ranking people on the ship. 

“Yes. Like I said, I want to get to know all of my guards. It makes sense to start with you.”

Feeling uncharacteristically trusting of the Empress, the commander began to remove her helmet. As she did, Rey gasped as she saw longs strands of brown hair flow out of the helmet. Looking at the woman once she was no longer hidden, Rey took in her features. She had long dark brown hair, dark brown eyes mirroring her hair. She looked around her thirties, her face thin yet welcoming. Her expression was blank, a mask similar to the one Ben wore as Kylo Ren engaged. 

“Wow. You’re gorgeous.”

Rey smiled, standing to walk over to the kitchenette, leaving the stunned commander in her seat. 

“Thank you, Empress...”

Rey returned moments later, a plate of cookies in her hand. Placing them on the table in front of them, Rey gave her a cheeky grin. 

“Help yourself. I’ve never had food like this before but now I have, I’m never going to live without them again. Just don’t tell Ben I’ve got them, he’ll blame me for the fact they’re all nearly gone.”

Rey grabbed a cookie, savouring the sweet taste as the commander watched her in utter shock. The rather terrifying Empress from the meeting room now gone, and the kindhearted woman known as Rey was here instead. There was something pure to her, a slight innocence that allowed her to shine out on the dark ship. For some reason, the commander felt she was going to enjoy working for her. Maybe she would bring changes to the First Order that would benefit everyone, and not just them. 

Leaning towards the table, the commander took a cookie, carefully taking a bite. She had to admit, they tasted amazing. No wonder the young Empress loved them so much. 

“Good, hey?”

“Very, Empress.”

Rey smiled, grabbing another cookie before pulling her legs covered in the long gown onto the sofa besides her. 

“You don’t have to call me that. Honestly, it makes me a bit uncomfortable. When it’s just us, please call me Rey. It would be nice to have someone like a friend here.”

The commander felt herself smile, more than happy to be seen as the Empress’ friend. She had a feeling their friendship would be something special, no matter what happened in the future.

“Of course...Rey.”

Rey smiled again, satisfied that the commander was becoming more open with her. 

The pair remained in the room for the majority of the day, talking about the guards assigned to protect Rey, the responsibilities Rey now possessed, how she planned to change the way the First Order worked and general gossip. Neither of them seemed to notice Ben enter his quarters until he was besides them in the lounge area.

“Having fun?”

His voice was stern like always, causing Rey to glare at him since it made the Commander tense. She was used to being in uniform, not having snacks and gossiping with one of the rulers of the ship. 

“We are. I’ve been getting to know my commander and guards.”

Ben smirked at Rey, impressed that she had taken it upon herself to familiarise herself with her surroundings and protection unit. It made him proud in a way. Proud that she seemed happy here, and not just here to keep him happy. 

“I should go, Empress.”

Rey frowned slightly at the title being used once again, however she knew Ben could be intimidating in his Kylo Ren persona. She’s have to fix that soon too. 

Following the commander towards the blast doors, Rey felt happy with herself for making such progress. In the space of a few hours, she felt like she had gained a friend for life. 

The commander walked towards the doors, halting slightly as she turned to face Rey. 

“Thank you for treating me so well, Empress.”

Rey waved her hand, dismissing the compliment. 

“It’s been nice to actually talk to someone for the first time since moving on here. So thank you, Commander.”

The commander smiled, stopping herself from placing her helmet back on her head. 

“Empress, please call me Delta.”

  
  


Here is Delta:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to be adding pictures at the end of some chapters to aid with visual readers so please look out for them x


	15. Chapter 15

Rey smiled at Delta, over the moon she had already thought of a name for herself. And looking at her appearance without the helmet, Rey had to agree that it suited her.

“Delta? I like it.”

Delta nodded at Rey, smiling before placing her helmet back on her head, turning to leave the room. Once Delta had gone, Rey turned to the now empty room, assuming Ben had gone to get changed. It was only mid-afternoon but they’d pretty much decided that they’d had enough of Hux and the other generals for one day. 

Moving to grab another cookie left on the plate, Rey froze as she heard the bedroom doors open. Turning to look at the doors, Rey’s eyes met with Ben’s confused ones, taking in the situation. As he slowly walked over to her, his eyes cast down to the table, suddenly realising why Rey looked like a child stealing from the cookie jar. It’s because she essentially was. 

“Ah. So that’s where they’ve all been going, hm?”

Rey looked away, starting to feel embarrassed about her new love for sweet treats. She blamed her years of never experiencing them for her sudden binging. 

Ben noticed her downcast eyes, feeling bad for calling her out on eating them. Moving his now bare hand to cup her face, Ben turned her to face him. 

“Rey...”

“It’s not my fault they taste so good.”

Ben chuckled at her little outburst, seeing a new childish and immature side to Rey that he hadn’t seen before. Without realising it, they were both opening up to each other with the passing time they spent together. 

“Rey, if you want more, all you have to do is ask. Just buzz it through to the kitchen staff and they’ll bring boxes of them through if you wish.”

Rey scoffed, a cheeky look in her eye. 

“Pretty sure I should avoid them. No good getting addicted to sweet things.”

This time Ben chuckled, a playfulness Rey hadn’t seen in him before emerging. 

“Well, I guess I better not keep doing this then...”

Pulling Rey closer to him, Rey squeaking at the action, Ben crashed his lips against hers. Instantaneously, Rey returned the kiss, her hands wrapping around his neck as his hands grasped her small waist. He’d never been one for soppy sayings or showing much emotion, but it was as if he had no control around her. No control in more ways than one. 

Feeling the kiss growing more heated, Ben moved his hands slowly down her back, resting on her ass for a little while, Rey moaning at the feeling. But they didn’t stay there for long. Feeling more confident, Ben let his hands slide to the backs of her thighs, his large hands grabbing her as he hoist her legs around his waist. 

Rey gasped at the action, quickly continuing the kiss as Ben walked them over to the closest wall, pressing Rey’s back flush against it. As amazing as Rey looked, Ben found himself regretting his dress choice for her a second time within a few hours. The long fabric was getting in the way, making it hard for Rey to keep her legs wrapped around his waist. 

Breaking the kiss, Ben grabbed the side of the dress’ skirt, wasting no time in ripping it, exposing the majority of Rey’s left leg. 

“Ben, I liked this dress!”

Ben chuckled, moving forward to kiss her lips softly. 

“I’ll buy you another.”

His kisses began to grow against her lips, his hands now wandering up her leg, rubbing the top of her thigh. It was the most intimate Rey had ever been with anyone. Stars, she had never kissed anyone before, and yet she felt oddly comfortable with Ben having his hands on her skin the way he did. 

Ben soon moved his kisses to her neck, wanting to hear her moan just like earlier on when their first episode of passion had occurred. 

It didn’t take long for Rey to let out a moan at the feeling, Ben hoisting her leg around his hip more as he moved closer to her. Rey could feel his body pressed against her, their arousal being obvious between them. She knew that if anyone entered now, the entirety of her left leg would be on show, the position extremely intimate between them. But she didn’t care. The feeling of having Ben against her, showing her his affection was enough to make her forget about everything else. 

They stayed this way for awhile, switching between kissing each other’s lips and necks. By the time they finally pulled apart, both of them were panting hard, out of breath. Rey ran a hand through Ben’s hair, noticing how messy it was now from their hot make out session. She couldn’t help but admit that seeing him like this, disheveled and out of breath left her speechless, willing to let him do whatever he wanted to her without a second thought. 

Ben smirked, kissing her lightly on the lips, slowly calming himself down. 

“Don’t tempt me, Rey.”

Stars, of course he heard all of that. Looking at Rey’s blush appearing on her cheeks, Ben smirked again, carefully lowering her back to the floor. Looking down at her dress, Rey held the ripped material down her left side. 

“Really, Ben? Was this necessary?”

Ben shrugged, walking over to the small table to grab a cookie. 

“It was either that or we stopped. So, yes, I’d say it was very necessary.”

Looking up at Rey, her breathing still slightly laboured, her dress and hair a mess, Ben smiled. 

“And I’d say you would agree.”

Rey rolled her eyes, moving over to the sofa as Ben chucked her another cookie. If he could indulge in his sweet temptation then so could she. Sitting beside her, Ben slouched on the sofa, a new kind of relaxed forming over him. He never really relaxed, but ever since she had joined him, he found himself doing it more and more. 

They sat in silence for a moment before Rey spoke up. 

“What happened with Hux?”

Ben groaned, not wanting to think about the pathetic man. 

“He decided to tell everyone lies, trying to turn everyone against...”

“Me?”

Ben nodded, not wanting to upset Rey. However, Rey soon let out a loud laugh, catching Ben’s attention. It was a proper laugh, one that made her eyes squint. It was wonderful to witness, seeing someone he considered close to him experiencing such joy. 

“What did he say? Was it about me nearly killing him or was that left out?”

Ben smirked, enjoying this side of Rey too. He was yet to find a side of her that he didn’t like. Although, there was one that came to mind...

“He was telling everyone that you were a spy for the resistance and that you’d seduced and manipulated me.”

Rey scoffed, finding it rather amusing. 

“I assume you didn’t kill him.”

“It took everything in me not to. His smug smile had me lighting my saber. That’s when he suddenly stopped talking and let the troopers take him. He’s in solitary confinement for the next few days.”

Rey rolled her eyes, happy Ben hadn’t killed the man but also aware of the feeling of annoyance lingering in Ben that he didn’t get to strike him down. It was progress, even if it was only small. She knew there was good in him, she’d seen it on multiple occasions when it was just the two of them. Now, it was time for her to slowly bring the true Ben Solo out to the rest of the world. 


	16. Chapter 16

Rey emerged from her quarters, returning into Ben’s now that she had changed into his large jumper and cropped leggings. She knew she had her own clothes, but his jumper was far too comfy to pass up on. It surrounded her in warmth and comfort, protecting her from the cold, much like what it’s owner did. The thought brought a smile to Rey’s face. He truly did make her happy. A type of happy she hadn’t felt for years, before she could even remember. It was strange to think she’d nearly killed him before, both of them coming close to ending the other far too much. 

But then this bond had arrived. Snoke said it was him, as a way to prove Ben’s weakness and allow him to stay loyal to the dark side. Of course, that had completely backfired, resulting in Ben choosing Rey over his leader, slaughtering the man with no hesitation. That was the moment Rey had seen it, the light in him. His eyes. They showed a frightened child, wanting to go back to before he had made his mistakes. And the way he looked at her, she knew he saw her as his way of redemption. His second chance. Just like he was hers. 

Walking into the room, Rey was met with a shirtless Ben, a sight that she seemed to be seeing more often. That didn’t mean it didn’t still effect her like the first time. 

Ben noticed her presence, looking away from the holo screen as he lounged on the sofa. Looking at her clothes, Ben scoffed. 

“I buy you the finest clothes and you still wear my old jumper. I don’t know how to feel about that.”

Rey could hear the humour in his voice, obviously happy that she was still wearing his clothes. The mock annoyance in his voice adding to his childish behaviour. 

Walking over to sit on his lap, Rey played with his hair, watching as his eyes focused on her, suddenly becoming more serious. 

“It’s a compliment. It means I like having something that reminds me of you with me.”

Ben smiled, wrapping his arms around her as he pulled her to his chest. The comforting bond they shared was something neither of them had ever experienced before, but neither could live without it anymore. They were meant for each other, they both knew it, even if they wouldn’t admit it yet. It was a feeling of home. They both felt it the moment their lips touched, a feeling of finally finding their place in the galaxy. Their place beside each other. 

“We should probably go to bed.”

Rey hummed in response. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet. 

“Who said you’re going anywhere?”

Rey moved to look at Ben, seeing the mischief in his eyes. 

“Oh, I’m staying now am I?”

Ben smirked, pulling her into a sweet kiss. 

“Just to lay with me. Nothing more, I promise. Well...”

Ben eyed Rey up and down, his eyes taking in every detail of her. 

“...not unless you ask me to.”

Rey pushed his shoulder lightly, moving off his lap and pulling him up with their entwined hands. Walking hand in hand, they made their way towards the bedroom. 

“You know, I’ve only just got my own room. I’m going to have to use it properly at some point.”

Ben smirked from behind Rey. A deeper smile hiding behind it as he thought about a path he never thought he would chose. 

“We’ll figure out something for that room, don’t you worry.”

Rey couldn’t help but be curious about what could possibly go in her quarters, deciding to not look into it too much.

Once in the bedroom, they laid in the bed, both facing the large viewport. Rey had her back flush with Ben’s bare chest, his arm resting around her waist as he placed slow kisses to her forehead. 

It didn’t take long for them to fall asleep with the beautiful view before them. Waking up together in each other’s arms made the morning even better, although the highlight had to be their mini-make out session before Rey left to get dressed. 

She felt rather embarrassed, rushing to get showered in time for Isabelle and Tori, trying her best to hide the small mark forming on her collarbone. Of course, the women noticed, mentioning that they would put some makeup over her ‘bruise’ incase it appeared from behind the dress. The dress was similar to the one from the day before, that was currently in the bin thanks to Ben’s lapse of control. It was black, of course, with a long clouded cape. Luckily, it was a bit more practical than the previous dress. 

  
Her hair and makeup was the same as the day before, similar jewellery being worn. However, today Rey couldn’t get away with her boots. The dress was too short, so she would have to wear heels. She’d never worn anything so uncomfortable or unpractical before, feeling like her legs didn’t want to cooperate with her. In the end, she managed to walk in some small heels, Isabelle telling her they would practice another day. 

Before the pair left, Tori turned to Rey, placing a small box in front of her. 

“I was instructed to leave these here for you, Empress.”

Rey rolled her eyes at the title, looking down at the small box in front of her. It seemed to be a type of medication. 

“It is a form of contraception.”

Rey felt herself going incredibly red, turning to face Isabelle and Tori. 

“Um, I-I don’t think I need this.”

The women smiled slightly, trying to act oblivious although Rey could tell they saw straight through her. 

“It’s standard for the First Order. It means we don’t have to worry about anything that may cause us an inconvenience such as periods or an unexpected child.”

Rey nodded, feeling a bit better about the situation. For now it was just standard procedure, but she couldn’t help but blush at the thought of it being used for its true purpose in the future. 

Isabelle:

Tori:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for so many pictures, I wanted to add them to help people visualise the characters and the viewport x


	17. Chapter 17

The next few days resembled each other, made up of boring meetings about the First Order’s condition, watching over generals and then cuddling with Ben in the evenings. The latter was Rey’s favourite part of her first week on the Finalizer, finding a sense of familiarity in his arms. They’d grown closer each day, members around the ship noticing how their eyes met and how Ben’s hand would often rest on her back or waist. No one dared say anything, although Rey heard all the gossip from Isabelle and Tori, Delta giving her even more information on the latest rumours about her and her lover.

Lover. Was that the right word? She wasn’t entirely sure, but one thing was for sure. She cared for him deeply. Her body felt like it was fighting with her, trying to break out so she could tell Ben exactly how she felt. Part of her held it back, scared that she had completely read the situation wrong whilst the other was more than willing to tell him, certain that he felt the same way. Sometimes she felt that he cared even deeper for her than she knew. 

It was the way his eyes looked at her, gentle and loving, taking in all of her details. The way his hands ghosted over her skin when they were laying together. It was all so tender, so raw. And yet, looking back on some of their moments before she took his hand, the same look had been there, hidden behind his facade, but still trying to shine through. 

A smile crept to her face, feeling warm at the feeling of being wanted and cared for by someone thought to be unable to possess compassion. Delta turned her head to Rey, smirking under her helmet as she stood beside her on one of the many platforms on the ship. They had been admiring the crew members working in the hanger below the vast viewport, silently observing the running of the ship. 

“Thinking about him again, hm?”

Rey turned her head to face Delta, a smirk playing on her face. 

“And how would you know that?”

“The smile on your face gives it away. You’re practically radiating young love.”

Rey rolled her eyes, scoffing slightly. They were definitely not your average couple. She didn’t even know if they were properly a couple, but they were most definitely anything but normal. He acted cold and unforgiving in front of others, and Rey acted poised and serene as soon as she left her quarters. It wasn’t like they were walking with their entwined hands swinging down the many corridors of the large ship. 

“You know, I could have you reprimanded for prying into my personal life.”

Delta scoffed this time, turning to face the viewport once again. 

“Please, you’d be lost without me.”

Rey chuckled, glad to have made such a close friend within such a short time. Delta had opened up to her pretty soon, becoming more of a friend than her personal bodyguard. It made her feel more welcomed on the ship, less like an outsider. 

“You’re right. I would.”

They remained in silence for a few moments, watching clumps of stormtroopers practice their marches in the empty hangar. Watching them practice relentlessly gave Rey an idea. 

“Delta...what do you say to a bit of sparring?” 

Delta turned to her once again, intrigued on what she was wanting to do. 

“Ma’am?”

Rey rolled her eyes at her, annoyed at the title being used once again. 

“How many times? You don’t have to call me that. Besides, I just thought we might as well do something since we’re not needed today.”

Silence took over them once again before Rey spoke up. 

“You said I had fifteen members of my guard, correct?”

“Yes. Sixteen including me.”

Rey nodded. 

“How many are on shift today?”

“Five are actively working, however all will be ready at your command.”

Rey waved her hand dismissively. 

“Let them rest. We’ll just use the ones on shift today and keep swapping the days we spar so they can all experience it.”

Delta turned her head, interested in why Rey was suddenly so interested in the other stormtroopers. 

“May I ask why the sudden interest in sparring with them?”

Rey smiled, feeling slightly embarrassed with her reasoning. 

“Ben told me that your crew is to protect me at all costs. Unfortunately, before moving here I saw stormtroopers as masked figures, not people with lives and emotions. I want to get to know them. To train them to my own standards, so they can help me in battle, rather than protect me.”

Delta smiled behind her helmet, shocked at how Rey was constantly surprising her. 

“I think they’ll benefit deeply from that.”

Rey nodded.

“Good. Give me a few minutes to change and then we’ll head to the training rooms.”

Delta agreed, escorting Rey towards her quarters, allowing her to slip out of her long gown and jewellery, swapping them for cropped leggings and a grey tunic. Leaving her room, Rey was met with Delta at her door. 

“Have you contacted the others?”

Delta nodded. 

“Yes. They are on their way to the training room now as we speak.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

The pair walked towards the training rooms, wasting no time in getting there. Rey felt like it had been forever since she trained, her muscles desperate for some action to test them. This could be what they all needed. 

Entering one of the training rooms, Rey was met with five white stormtroopers standing in regimental stance, contrasting with the light grey room. Rey always hated the formal greetings from people, but she knew she would have to get used to them eventually. Walking towards the line of troopers, Rey stopped in front of them. 

“Thank you for getting here so quickly. I’m sure you’re all a bit confused on why you’re here.”

The troopers remained silent, the one in the centre finally nodding for the group. 

“I want to get to know my personal team better. How am I going to be able to trust and fight with individuals who I barely know? So today, I’m going to change that.”

Looking down the line, they remained still like statues. It unnerved Rey slightly, forgetting how easily Delta loosened up to her. She still had to gain their trust, she knew that. She just hoped that her plan would work. 

“First, please take off your helmets. I want to be able to recognise your faces.”

Without hesitation, the group removed their helmets almost in sync, holding them on their right hip. 

Looking at all of their faces, Rey smiled. 

“Did any of you pick a name?”

All of them nodded, filling Rey with pride. Starting from the left, Rey made her way through the line, learning their names. 

The first trooper was a young looking man, perhaps a year or two older than herself. His dirty blonde hair and green eyes complimenting his tan skin. He stood about half a foot taller than Rey, jaw sharp and chiseled, his face still youthful. His name was Thomas. 

Next to Thomas was a smaller woman, roughly Rey’s height. She looked petite, her face young and bright. Rey placed her the same age as her. She sported dark purple hair that was naturally waved, tan skin with deep brown eyes. She looked like she knew how to have fun, most definitely able to hold her own amongst the male troopers. Her name was Lyra. 

Next to Lyra was the tallest of the group. He had broad shoulders, his height not far off Ben’s. He seemed to automatically take the lead for the group, his intimidating appearance most likely contributing to it. His hair was black, dark brown eyes staring forward with concentration, only looking at Rey when she addressed him. He was the only one with stubble, adding to Rey’s feeling he was most likely in his thirties. His name was Aaron. 

Next to Aaron was a pair of identical twins. The man on the left identified himself as Leo, the man on the right being Orion. They both had dark brown hair and eyes, broad shoulders and thick set jaws. Whilst they were also very tall and muscular, their faces were gentle and welcoming. Looking closely at the pair, Rey noticed Leo was slightly taller than Orion, a give away as to who was who. 

Moving away once they had all introduced themselves, Rey stood in front of them, a new feeling of confidence flowing over her. 

“Nice to finally meet you all. I’m Rey. Now, who wants to go first?”

Thomas

Lyra

Aaron

Leo & Orion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the pictures help. Sorry it’s bit of a filler chapter, more to come I promise x


	18. Chapter 18

Rey and Aaron sparred first, neither using weapons or any other advantages such as the force. It was simple fighting, Rey having the high ground majority of the time due to her varied fighting style. However, Aaron had more strength behind his punches, landing a couple blows to Rey’s side. In the end, Rey had Aaron pinned to the floor, both panting heavily. It felt good to finally work out, being able to improve on her fitness and her relationship with her stormtroopers at the same time.

Extending her hand to him, Rey helped Aaron off the floor. 

“Well done. You’re a good fighter.”

Aaron bowed his head lightly, still not used to being in his sweats instead of armour, especially not in front of the Empress. 

“Thank you, Empress.”

Rey smiled, turning towards the other stormtroopers. 

“Okay who’s next?”

The rest of the group fought well, none of them quite able to best Rey, however none of them being an easy fight. Rey was impressed. She always saw the stormtroopers as being unable to fight due to their blasters being glued to their hands. She should’ve known better after seeing Finn fight. Finn...

Thinking back to her friend, Rey suddenly realised how long she’d been gone and yet she hadn’t even tried to message them. What if they were worried about her? Feared her dead. Or worse...what if they thought she had betrayed them?

Sensing the eyes of the now sweaty stormtroopers in front of her, Rey turned her attention back to them. 

“Thank you all for sparring with me. You all fought great, however I will discuss any areas of improvement with Delta to aid you all in battle. Please, feel free to do the same with me.”

“Yes, Empress.”

The unison in their voices made Rey smirk, finding it rather uncomfortable yet slightly amusing. How they got to be so in sync, Rey had no idea. It scared her sometimes when she tried to think about it. 

“You’re dismissed for the rest of the day.”

The stormtroopers hesitantly nodded, glancing at Delta for permission which she granted. Wasting no time in gathering their armour, the group returned to their quarters to freshen up. 

Feeling Delta’s eyes on her, Rey turned to face her. 

“You okay, Delta?”

Delta nodded, unsure on exactly what she should tell Rey. 

“I’ve just been informed that the Supreme Leader is on his way here and he doesn’t seem...happy.”

Rey rolled her eyes, preparing herself for Kylo Ren. She had always been open with him that she wouldn’t put up with his Kylo Ren behaviour, and that wasn’t going to change now. 

Hearing a loud crash, Rey’s eyes soon fell on an annoyed Ben standing in the doorway of the training room. His eyes landed straight on her, not leaving her as he spoke. Or rather, commanded. 

“Leave us. Now!”

Delta looked over to Rey, receiving a nod from her before leaving the room, reapplying her helmet. Once they were alone, silence took over the room, Ben staring at her before slowly walking over to her. 

Looking over her, Ben kept his expression serious but added some warmth to it as he gazed at her. 

“Who hurt you?”

Rey raised an eyebrow, unsure what he was talking about. 

“Excuse me?”

“You’re hurt. I felt it. Someone was attacking you. Tell me who it was.”

His voice was harsh, but Rey could still hear the worry and vulnerability inhis voice. She couldn’t let that make his current behaviour okay however. 

“You felt it? From the bond?”

Ben nodded, his eyes focused on her, ready to find out who he had to kill. 

“We were sparring Ben! Me and some of my troopers were sparring so I could help train them. No one was ‘attacking’ me as such. Just some lucky shots.”

Ben stayed quiet, contemplating her words as he calmed himself down. He knew it was the truth. He could tell she wasn’t lying over their bond, however that didn’t make him feel any better. Even though the feeling for him was nothing but a feeling of recognising a hit, he had felt Rey being hurt by one of her own men. Perhaps he should give her a brand new team and dispose of the others. 

“Don’t you dare! Killing isn’t always the answer, Ben. In fact, it hardly ever is.”

Ben smirked, loving the fact she had heard him over the bond. It reminded him how special their connection was, and how powerful they were together. 

“I know. It’s a bit different when it’s you getting hurt though.”

Rey rolled her eyes at him, looking away from him. 

“That’s not a good reason to take a life, Ben.”

Ben hummed, slowly bringing her into his arms, feeling her stiffen in his hold before slowly relaxing at the touch. The embrace was soft and gentle, a mutual ground between them where neither were in the right or wrong. 

“How can I make it up to you?”

Rey smirked, finding Ben’s solution methods rather intriguing. With a question like that, she could ask for practically anything from him. Her mind wandered, wondering which angle to take when deciding on her gift. But then, as if she finally snapped back to reality, Rey had an idea. 

“I think I know what you could do...”

Ben smirked, interested in what she was suggesting. 

“Anything and it’s yours.”

Rey took in a deep breath, trying to figure out what would be the best way to approach the subject. She knew Ben wouldn’t be happy with her idea, but she couldn’t carry on like this anymore. 

“I want...to visit the Resistance...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s a bit short. I might not be able to update regularly for the next couple of days, however I’ll try my best to update when I can and quickly return to daily updates if and when possible x


	19. Chapter 19

Ben stood still, his eyes staring into hers, trying to find an answer for his confusion. Why was she wanting to visit the resistance? Was she truly just here as a spy? Did she never want to be with him? The feeling of her potentially using him for the benefit of the resistance hurt him, making him feel sick in his stomach. 

Swallowing hard, Ben steadied his breathing, trying his best at staying in control. The last thing he wanted was to scare her away from him, even if her mind had always been focused on supporting the resistance. He knew he couldn’t lose her, not now. He’d finally started to accept the truth about him. The fact that maybe he wasn’t completely lost. That was all because of her and the fact she wouldn’t give up on him. But now, the chance that she might be willing to leave him becoming apparent, Ben felt a deep pain inside of him growing. 

“Why?”

Rey’s smile had gone the moment she saw Ben’s dejected face. Did he really think she was leaving him just like that? When would he learn, they’re in this together. There was no way she could leave him now that she felt so close to Ben Solo. The real Ben Solo. It was as if she had been digging her whole life for buried treasure, and now her hands had started to grasp at the edges of it. The feeling of a hand reaching through the sand towards her made her want to hold on, carry on digging until she had completely recovered the lost soul. 

Shaking her head, Rey gave Ben a gentle look. 

“I think they’ll be worried about me. I just need to go to show I’m okay then I’ll come straight back.”

Ben stiffened slightly, still not a fan of the idea. 

“What makes you believe they are worried about you? Have they tried making contact with you?”

Rey flinched slightly at his words, knowing his anger was starting to seep out of his hold. Even though she knew his words weren’t meant to make her feel hurt the way they did, it still stung. 

“I know they are. Even if it’s only Finn and...a few others, it’s worth me going before they send themselves into a frenzy with wild theories. The last thing I need is them believing you killed me.”

Rey noticed how Ben looked away briefly at the mention of him killing her, an idea that not so long ago was supposed to be his mission. However, he never could bring himself to strike her down. Something always got in the way, preventing him from making a decision that he would undoubtedly regret as soon as his blade struck her. 

Rey had tried her best to not mention Leia as one of the people worried about her, although she was certain Ben already knew that she was included in the said ‘others’. Still, she needed him to trust her, and bringing up his past would probably have the opposite effect. 

Moving forward, cupping his face with her hand so he was facing her again, Rey looked deeply into his eyes. 

“I promise. I won’t be gone long. I just need to settle them down so they don’t do anything stupid.”

Pulling his head down as she raised herself to her toes, Rey rested her forehead against his own. 

“You know.”

Ben looked deeply into her eyes, his hand holding her waist. 

“I know.”

Dipping his head down, Ben softly kissed Rey’s lips, Rey responding instantly. The kiss was soft and tender, a way of them expressing their emotions without the bother of words neither were quite ready to say aloud. Rey could feel the worry inside of him slowly melting away, however not completely disappearing. She knew he was worried about her leaving him, but now he was more worried about her safety. Whilst the notion was rather ridiculous to Rey, it still made her heart swell with warmth. Turns out Ben Solo was quite the softy deep down. 

Hearing her remark through the bond, Ben smiled through the kiss before pulling away from her slightly. 

“Don’t you ever tell anyone that...”

His lips skimmed over hers as he spoke, his voice soft and relaxed. 

“I promise.”

Sealing her promise, Rey connected their lips once again, feeling Ben pulling her closer to him as the kiss grew more demanding. Ben’s hands wandered around her waist occasionally holding her ass, making Rey moan into the kiss. Rey played with his hair as they shamelessly made out in the middle of the training room, Rey slightly self conscious about the fact she was still sweaty from her training session. 

This was the first time they had ever kissed outside the protective walls of Ben’s quarters, the feeling suddenly sinking in. Realising the troopers could be watching, Rey pulled away, trying to push out of Ben’s hold. 

Ben’s eyes grew worried, scared he’d hurt her in some way. 

“The troopers. What if they see us?”

Her voice was in a whisper, unsure on how well anyone outside of the room could hear them. Ben thought about her words for a moment, unsure if she was ashamed of what they had or possibly embarrassed. Whatever it was, Ben felt it was time to clear up where he stood on the matter. 

“Does it matter? I’m the Supreme Leader, you’re the Empress. It’s only natural for me to do this to you.”

Wasting no time, Ben grabbed Rey by the waist, hoisting her around his hips as he slammed her into the closest wall, covering her lips in a feverish kiss that she melted into. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance. The next few weeks, updates may be staggered or smaller due to other commitments. However, I will try my hardest to keep the story going on track. I appreciate all of your support so much. Thank you to everyone that has read yeh story or left a comment. It truly means the world to me x


	20. Chapter 20

Ben’s kisses grew in fever as he held Rey’s body up against the wall, Rey indulging in the feeling of this new passion. They’d kissed quite a bit since their first kiss, however each one seemed to take her breath away a little more each time. They were getting used to each other slowly, knowing where to kiss and hold to get the best response out of the other. It was a learning game for both of them, but Rey knew she was vastly behind in experience compared to Ben. He seemed to know exactly what to do with his hands and lips, slowly trailing kisses down her neck as his hands ran up the sides of her waist, gradually making their way closer to her breast.

The feeling of growing anticipation was driving Rey mad with want, almost certain that she would never be over the way Ben touched her. His control over her was intimidating, the fact he wasn’t even trying making it more worrying. Rey could only imagine the way her body would react when they didn’t have clothes between their bodies. 

Ben chuckled slightly against her collarbone, teeth lightly grazing against her skin, making her shiver. 

“I can soon make that happen, you know? Although, I wasn’t exactly planning to do it in the training room...”

Rey felt her cheeks flush, no longer surprised with his nonchalant attitude towards anything intimate and sexual. He was most definitely not in the same position as her, but for some reason, it didn’t bother or worry her. He was so gentle and cautious with her, ensuring he never overstepped any boundaries. He made her feel safe. Safer than she had ever felt. 

Humming slightly in amusement, Rey contemplated his proposition, aware he was mainly joking but still intrigued. 

“Would you if I asked you to?”

Ben halted his actions, turning his head to look at Rey with eyes of intrigue. 

“Rey...”

“Would you? Here in this room?”

Ben gripped her thigh, pulling her closer to his body, a gasp escaping her lips at the contact. Ben let his eyes look over her, watching her laboured breaths as she stared back at him. Her eyes were sparkling in a way he had never seen before. Perhaps it was the glint of mischief showing itself, he wasn’t sure. Either way, it enticed him even more, testing his limits in self control. 

“Don’t test me...please.”

Rey nodded, holding his face lightly, running her fingers over the scar she had given him not so long ago. And now here she was, pressed against a wall by his body, lips swollen from the passionate kisses they had shared mere moments before. How things had changed between them. And yet, for some reason, Rey felt that they had always been drawn to each other. When she had called him a monster, she had meant it, and yet she remembered part of her hurting at the fact she felt that way about him. The moment she struck him with the saber, scarring his face, she could’ve killed him. But something deep down pulled her back, stopping her from bringing the saber down against him once more. 

Staring into his eyes, Rey had never been so grateful for that unknown bond. She could feel everything he felt, the torment inside of him rising. He wanted her, just like she wanted him, however he was holding back. He was scared, scared he would hurt her. And whilst Rey knew he never would, she understood why he held those fears inside of him. He’d killed his father without hesitation, simply to match his role, regretting it the instant his body fell away from the bridge. Rey heard her own scream through the bond, noticing the pain in his eyes. 

Not only had he experienced his own grief from his actions, he’d also felt immense pain from seeing her devastated face. He’d felt her scream pierce him like a dagger. And whilst he acted like it didn’t bother him, deep down he had been hurt by the hatred she held towards him. The word ‘monster’ twisting the dagger further into his chest. 

It was cruel for them to have been bound together really. They were supposed to be enemies, never to have such feelings for one another. And yet here they were, unable to deny that somehow, they were supposed to be together. They’d hurt each other in one way or another, feeling each other’s pain deep inside of them, pushing the feelings away with unease. But now there was no hiding it. They were connected, never to be separated again. 

“You won’t ever hurt me again. Don’t worry.”

Ben smiled slightly, resting his head against hers, allowing his breathing to slow down as he calmed himself down. It was probably best they didn’t get too intimate in the the training room. There was too many people on the other side of the doors, intruding on their private relationship. Moments like that needed to be just them, alone and comfortable, able to be raw and unmasked before one another. 

“And I know you won’t hurt me either. Just...be careful...”

Rey held him tighter, letting his head rest against her shoulder. His hands casually ran across her hips, cradling her softly as he placed slow kissed against her neck. 

“We should probably get out of here.”

Rey chuckled at his remark, knowing he had no intention of moving from his current position voluntarily. 

“Hm. You’re right. We’ve been in here too long and I need a shower. Think I look even worse than after a full on training session.”

Rey felt him smirk again, pulling away slightly to kiss her lips lightly. 

“Just tell them we worked out together.”

Rey rolled her eyes, kissing him once again. 

“Is that what we’re calling this now?”

Ben smirked, grabbing her ass lightly as he kissed her slowly, pulling away in a tormenting manner. 

“Oh believe me, this is more like a warm up than the full on workout.” 

Slowly lowering her back to her feet, Ben pushed some loose strands of hair from her face, letting his hand linger on the side of her face. He would never get over her beauty, awed by her effortlessness in captivating him. He’d been one of the most powerful members of the First Order and was now the Supreme Leader, and yet he would give it all up if it meant she would remain by his side. 

The thought brought him both excitement and terror, unsure on what he really wanted anymore... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the amount of spelling mistakes in this story. I write at night on my phone which is getting slow so it autocorrects without me realising sometimes. I will be going over the story correcting the chapters at some point


	21. Chapter 21

Ben gazed into her eyes, planting one final lingering kiss to her lips before pulling away. He knew it wouldn’t be long before they would be wrapped in each other’s arms again, but being away from her seemed to be getting more and more difficult. He knew deep down he had been drawn to her the moment he saw her, the moment he was unable to pass her to a stormtrooper on the ship when she was unconscious in his arms playing in his mind.

He would’ve passed any prisoner to his guards the moment he could, and yet with her, he didn’t. He wanted to carry her for some reason. Him, no one else. It was the first time he had felt the unknown feeling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling of light slowly growing as he held her close to him in his arms. He’d even carried her to the interrogation room once they were aboard the large ship, not wishing for anyone else to touch her. 

The feeling was weird and unknown to him at the time, making him question his own actions. But now, everything made sense. They were supposed to be together, a bond in the force holding them together. It fascinated him that such a thing could exist, and that it would bond him to such a beautiful and pure soul. He believed himself to be lost, accepting that the darkness had consumed him for good, but now that he had her so close to him, he was questioning all of that.

He’d seen them on the throne together, ruling the First Order side by side, a couple in power and stance. At the time, he had believed that for him to achieve this, she had to turn to the dark side just like he had. He had been willing, however he always held back, unsure on whether turning her was truly what he wanted. 

Hearing her screams of pain whilst Snoke tortured her had made up his mind, being well aware that she had come to see him, to turn him and save him. She was being hurt for him, willing to sacrifice everything simply because she had seen him standing beside her in the light. That was what did it. The feeling of someone of light willing to risk everything for him, a dark mass of a person, without hesitation showing him that perhaps he had interpreted his vision wrong. She would stand by his side, rule beside him, but not with the dark consuming her...or him. 

The moment he held his hand out to her was the first moment he allowed the light to grow freely, trying his best to accept it rather than smother it out. Her taking his hand was unexpected, however everything that happened afterwards shocked him more. The feeling of light consuming him every time she smiled, laughed or touched him. The way he had barely thought about the rebels since she had arrived on his ship. It all shocked him, but slowly...he was accepting it. All along it had been her he was searching for, not the rebels...

And now, seeing her messy hair, sweaty skin and sparkling eyes before him, he knew he could never turn her to the dark side. Turning her would be suicide to him, killing the last living part of his soul. He couldn’t do it, he wouldn’t. But, how would he rule without a war? At this point, Ben wasn’t even sure if he wanted to rule anymore. He wanted her, just her. 

Feeling Rey’s eyes on him, curiosity swirling in her moss coloured iris’, drawing him away from his thoughts as they so often did. Holding her face slightly, Ben gave her a small smile, trying his hardest to act like he was completely on board with her leaving him to visit the resistance. 

“When are you hoping to leave?”

Rey blinked, surprised by his sudden question before she thought for a moment. 

“Tomorrow?”

Ben raised his eyebrow, surprised in how soon she was planning on going. It seemed he would have to hold her tighter tonight if she truly was leaving the next day. 

“You sure? It’s not going to be easy to get you off the ship without Hux getting involved.”

Rey nodded, removing his hand from the side of her face so she could play with his fingers, a sign she was slightly nervous herself. However, her voice showed no nerves, her tone strong and convincing as she spoke. 

“No point in putting it off. If I can get the ship sorted for the early morning, then I can leave and give Hux half a cover story. Hopefully he won’t have time to interrupt me from leaving.”

Ben nodded, watching as she fiddled with his gloved fingers, finding her actions amusing. 

“What cover story you got then?”

Rey paused for a moment, deep in thought before she carried on, a confident look on her face. 

“Tell him I’m going to meet an informant of mine and that they’ll only speak with me directly. If he keeps acting up about it, just choke him a bit to remind him his place...”

Ben raised an eyebrow at her, taken aback by her suggestion. Sure, he would most definitely do what she had said, but the fact she had suggested harming Hux as a way for him to cooperate was odd. It was clear Hux had got under her skin, winding her up with the simplest of things, however it was still uncharacteristic of Rey to willingly hurt someone to get her way. 

Noticing his silence, Rey chuckled slightly, catching on to his thoughts. 

“I know, it’s not something I would usually suggest but you don’t have to do it much. Just enough to prove a point. Well, that or use a Jedi mind trick on him.”

Ben frowned slightly at the word ‘Jedi’ being used. He was no Jedi, but he also supposed he was no Sith either. He was somehow tiptoeing into the middle, unsure of what to classify himself as anymore. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Rey nodded, keeping her eyes on Ben. She knew he was worried, but she was strong and independent. Going to visit the resistance would be fine, although part of her was becoming nervous of their reactions towards her decisions. 

“I’ll take Delta and a few other troopers with me if that will settle you down.”

Ben rolled his eyes, nodding slightly as he bit his lip, holding back any comments he may make. He didn’t want to admit it too much, but he was terrified of something happening to her. She was his light at the end of the tunnel, leading him away from the dark abyss that once consumed him. If she left him now, he’d become lost once again. He knew it was selfish, but he didn’t care. 

All he knew was that he would protect her with everything he had, no matter the situation, for as long as he lived. He was determined to not ever lose her again. He couldn’t. The moment Rey left his life, Kylo Ren would pull Ben Solo back into his cage, taking over once again. But Ben couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let himself hurt Rey again. 

Pulling Rey into his arms, Ben held her tight, taking in her scent as she relaxed in his hold, becoming accustomed to his affectionate behaviour. 

“I won’t be long Ben, I just need to talk to...to Leia.”

Ben stiffened slightly, at the mention of his mother. Whilst they were most definitely estranged from one another, he still held love for her. He wanted to see her, but he was scared. He had done horrible things in his life. Things that shouldn’t be forgiven, including what he did to his father, the man his mother had loved dearly despite their separation. He had turned into a monster...and now he was slowly returning, would she ever be able to accept him again? 

“I’ll be back in a day or so. I promise, I’ll be careful.”

Ben nodded, planting a kiss to her forehead. This vulnerability he felt was new to him, making him feel weak even though Rey was the very person he drew strength from. He just hoped the next few days would go by quick. 


	22. Chapter 22

Rey slowly made her way on to the small ship waiting at the hangar, Delta and six other stormtroopers following her aboard. She had said her goodbyes to Ben in the morning, noticing how he had held her tighter to him as they slept. She knew he was worried, and in all honesty she was a little nervous too, however she could look after herself. The troopers coming with her was just to put Ben at ease, meaning they would most likely be staying on the ship once they landed.

They were heading to a small planet not far from Crait, the planet the resistance had first retreated to. They were apparently attacked there but were able to leave once Ben gave the orders for the attacks on the resistance to be stopped immediately. Of course, the order had caused some confused troopers, however no one wanted to argue with Kylo Ren. 

Walking towards the pilot seat, Rey allowed herself to become accustomed to the controls, readying herself to leave. She could feel Delta’s eyes on her through her helmet, remaining silent as she sat in the co-pilot seat. It was a comfortable silence between them, however it seemed Delta had something on her mind. 

“What’s bothering you, Delta?”

Delta turned her head to face Rey, letting out an amused breath. She knew it was no good trying to hide anything from Rey so she spoke honesty. 

“I’m worried. We’re enemies of the resistance. I don’t think they will appreciate us landing at their base.”

Rey shook her head, getting comfy in her seat, ready to take off. 

“Don’t worry Delta, they won’t attack you guys.”

“It’s not them I’m worried about...”

Rey halted her actions briefly before turning to look at Delta. 

“I’ll be fine. Honestly, you’re sounding just like Ben.”

Rey turned back towards the controls, pausing their conversation as she flew the ship out of the Finalizer’s hangar, finally in the black mass that was space. Delta waited until she was comfy in her seat to continue talking. 

“You’ve been missing for over a week and now you’re appearing with Stormtroopers under your order. Surely there’s going to be repercussions from this.”

Rey nodded in acknowledgment, deep in thought. 

“You’re right. But it’s a risk I have to take. I need to speak to Leia. She needs to know everything...”

Delta watched Rey carefully, analysing her face. She knew exactly what she was meaning by everything though. Her joining the First Order. Her reasons behind it all. And most importantly, the main reason any of this had happened. Him. 

Allowing the rest of the journey to be relaxed, the pair talked between themselves about nothing in particular, soon finding the resistance’s base in front of them. Rey could feel the nerves starting to rise inside of her. She’d be fine. She knew that. But the fear of disappointing people who she now saw as family was rather overwhelming. 

Bracing herself, Rey made her way towards the ships ramp, hovering over the button to lower the hatch. She shouldn’t be nervous, but what if everyone was right? What if they no longer wanted to see her face? 

Pushing those thoughts away, Rey lightly held the hilt of her saber attached to her hip, grateful she was wearing her signature tunic instead of her new formal attire. She would never wield her saber at any of the resistance, however knowing the saber was by her side gave her comfort, a feeling of familiarity setting in. 

Pressing the lock, Rey watched as the hatch slowly opened, the ramp lowering to slowly reveal a group of resistance men surrounding the ship. They were armed, all unsure as to who was aboard the unmarked ship. They had most likely tried to make contact with Rey’s ship but Rey he blocked all communication incase Hux had somehow managed to bug the ship. 

Breathing in slowly, Rey carefully walked down the ramp, taking in her surroundings. The planet was a lush green, covered in tall trees and overgrown shrubs. It was beautiful. 

Looking closer at the shrubs, Rey soon noticed more resistance members hiding in the bushes, not all of them armed, some more curios than anything. Raising her hands slowly, Rey showed she meant no harm, trying to prove her innocence. She had commanded the troopers to remain on the shuttle, and that is what they did. However, the sight of them stood far back in the ship alarmed some of the resistance members. It wasn’t long before a rebel realised who she was. 

“Rey?”

Rey turned to see the man at the frontline, a confused look on his face. 

“I need to speak to Leia. It’s urgent.”

The man kept his weapon facing Rey, however he did lower it slightly as he looked between the other rebels. Rey could see their eyes on her lightsaber, obviously not trusting her due to her crew members. 

Moving towards them slowly, Rey held out her saber to the man. 

“You can hold this for me until I need to leave again if that makes you feel any better.”

The man nodded before taking the saber, lowering his weapon. The others soon followed suit, appearing more at ease with Rey. Motioning with his head, the man lead the way, Rey following close behind, taking in the beautiful planet full of lush green plants and life. Sounds of wildlife soon merged into those of people as Rey approached the base, a sense of relief seeing the rebels rebuilding their base together. However, her heart sank after realising how few rebels were left, far too many being lost during the last encounter with the First Order. Obviously people would be feeling the raw emotion of the loss, making Rey feel like her announcing her partnership with the First Order would most likely be the wrong choice. 

Heading towards a sheltered building, Rey’s eyes fell on the General herself. Leia, in all her glory, helping people with tasks around the many monitoring systems. It didn’t take long for Leia to notice Rey’s presence, turning to face her with a large smile growing on her face. 

“Rey...”

Opening her arms for a hug, Rey ran into Leia, accepting the warm hold as she returned the action. She had truly missed Leia, feeling like she had become a sort of mother-like figure for her over the time they had spent together. From the way Leia was holding her, Rey would say that she felt the same way. She just hoped she still would after she explained everything to her. 

Pulling away from Leia, Rey smiled down at her, trying her best to stay calm. 

“Rey, I thought something had happened to you.”

Rey smiled again, holding onto Leia’s shoulder lightly as she shook her head. 

“I’m fine. I’m just sorry I didn’t make contact sooner. A lot has happened.”

Leia raised an eyebrow at her, curious as to what exactly had been happening. There was something about Rey that seemed different to her, although she couldn’t put her finger on it. She just felt different, as if something in her had opened up. 

“Leia...can we talk somewhere private please?”

Leia nodded, leading Rey over to an area that Rey assumed was being used as Leia’s quarters. It wasn’t the most private, however with a gesture of her hand, anyone nearby soon left the area, leaving the pair alone. 

Sitting on the bed together, Leia rested her hand lightly on Rey’s, trying her best to let Rey feel comfortable in opening up to her. She could tell she was worried about talking to her, the way her eyes started to look around instead of at Leia. She wanted her to trust her, just like she did her, however something deep down told her to prepare for what Rey may have to say. 

Taking a deep breath, Rey turned to face Leia. 

“Leia...”

Giving an encouraging smile, Leia leaned towards Rey slightly. 

“What is it dear?”

Rey swallowed hard, as if pushing away any inhibitions. She had to tell her, now was there chance. No matter what, Leia deserved an explanation, even if it would possibly create a wedge between them. 

“Leia, I...I’ve joined the First Order.”

Rey felt Leia stiffen slightly, obviously taken aback by Rey’s announcement. But she wasn’t done yet. It was best for her to do it all in one, like pulling off a band aid. 

“There’s something else...”

Leia nodded, wishing Rey to continue with whatever she had to say, no matter how it make any her feel. 

“...Ben Solo is returning.”


	23. Chapter 23

Rey heard Leia take a breath as she heard the news, feeling confusion radiating off of her. Obviously Leia had always wished her son would return to her, but she had also given up hope after hearing of him killing his father. But now...now Rey was telling her exactly what she had wanted to hear for all those years, and she didn’t know how to react.

Turning to slowly look at Rey, Leia let out a steady breath before starting with her curious questions, unable to hold back anymore. 

“How? How can it be true?”

Leia’s voice was soft as she spoke and gentle, as if she was scared that once she spoke those words, it would no longer be true. Rey smiled at Leia, holding her hand lightly as she tried to reassure her. 

“I’ve seen it Leia. Stars, I’ve not just seen it, I’ve felt it...”

Leia gave a curious look at Rey as she continued her rambling of how Ben had changed without noticing. 

“...Leia, he sent the order for attacks to cease. He’s the reason there has been no more advances from the First Order. He wants peace.”

Leia studied Rey carefully, finally deciphering what was going on between them. The reason Rey seemed so different was now clear, she’d found the other half of her soul. And she’d somehow found him in her son. 

“Was my son truly the reason the attacks stopped, or was there someone who meant a lot to him involved too?”

Rey’s eyebrows rose in surprise, although she had assumed Leia would figure it all out pretty soon. 

“It’s okay, Rey. I can feel a change in you. A sense of wholeness, and belonging. And if this change is mirrored in my son, then I may very well believe you.”

Rey smiled at Leia, wishing she could show her how much of Ben was there and over powering Kylo Ren. He had changed so much in a week, it was unbelievable, and yet Rey knew deep down that he had started to change once he met her...just as she had. 

“Believe me, Leia. I wouldn’t be with the First Order if I didn’t think I could save him.”

“So that’s why you joined?”

Rey nodded, agreeing whilst trying to figure out how to explain it all. 

“Ben killed Snoke to save me, and battled the praetorian guards alongside me before offering his hand to me. I don’t know how it happened really, but something in me willed me to take it. No, I wanted to take it. I wanted to join him, be by his side and become his equal. But I didn’t want to fight, and I could sense he didn’t want to either.”

Rey could feel Leia’s soft gaze on her, carefully listening her and wordlessly encouraging her. 

“We decided that we wouldn’t attack the Rebels anymore, although the plan of a peace treaty has not yet been shown to the rest of the ship. But, I truly believe that together, we can end this war.”

Leia smiled at Rey, squeezing her hand lightly. 

“We all want peace. It’s just those that have become used to fighting that resist change. But together, I’m certain you can both turn around the First Order.”

Rey smiled back at her, feeling a wave of relief wash over her as a comfortable silence fell between them. Leia trusted her, and even more, believed in her and Ben. That was more than she could have ever hoped for. 

“You care for my son deeply, don’t you?”

Rey stiffened at Leia’s sudden question, looking at Leia with a blank face. Before she could even think of a response, her lips seemed to move by themselves, leaking her secrets to Leia. 

“Yes, I do.”

Leia smiled, however she seemed unsure of something. 

“I hope everything you told me is as you described it, so that Ben returns the feelings towards you. I don’t want you to be toyed with by the monster that lives within him.”

Rey was slightly taken aback by the word ‘monster’ coming from Leia’s mouth when describing her own son, however she understood how vile and cruel Kylo Ren could be. In a way, he was a separate person entirely, the only thing connecting him and Ben being the body they shared. He was a manifestation of all of Ben’s thoughts of hatred, manipulated by Snoke all his life into the dark form. 

“I believe he does. I’ve not felt him lie to me yet.”

Leia raised her brow, unsure on how Rey would be able to sense if he was lying to her or not, but didn’t have chance to pry into the subject further as a resistance member soon stumbled into the room, flustered and out of breath. 

“General...I think...you need to see this!”

Leia and Rey shared a glance before swiftly following the panting man towards the forest surrounding them. They moved at a fast pace, intrigued to what was going on. As they grew further and further into the forest, the sound of raised voices surrounded by multitudes of whispers grew more and more audible. Soon Rey recognised where they were heading...towards her ship. 

As they entered the clearing, Rey found the majority of the Resistance surrounding her ship, unsure of what was going on. However, their eyes soon drifted towards them, landing on Leia before drifting to Rey, soft gasps of surprise and shock rippling around them. At the open hatch of the ship, Rey spotted Delta and her crew standing in formation. They had no weapons raised, Delta simply holding the hilt of her gun that sat against her leg as she looked out towards the crowd. 

“What is going on here?”

Leia addressed the crowd to be met with a pregnant silence before someone finally spoke up. 

“She’s a traitor. She’s with the First Order.”

The man pointed his finger towards Rey, eyes narrowing at her. She knew something like this may happen, however she hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. 

“Who gave you the order to take it upon yourselves to surround and threaten Rey’s ship and crew?”

The crowd grew silent once again as they avoided Leia’s fierce gaze. It was as if Leia had just told each of them off like a child stealing sweets. 

“Rey is one of us. She has not been declared as an enemy, so you will not treat her as one. Do I make myself clear?”

The crowd mumbled apologies as they looked towards Rey and Leia, Rey finding the whole situation rather amusing. 

“Rey, I believe we should be leaving now.”

Rey looked towards Delta, glad she had called her by her name instead of Empress as she had asked. After the way everyone had acted, hearing her being the Empress of the First Order may not be the best thing right now. 

“You’re right.”

Moving towards the hatch, Rey turned towards Leia once again, pulling her into a hug as a goodbye. 

“I’ll be in touch again soon to discuss everything more. I promise.”

Leia smiled at her, holding her hand lightly. 

“Be careful.”

Rey nodded before taking a step back away from Leia. However, her steps were halted as the sound of a blaster firing rung out around her. Looking to her right, Rey caught sight of the blaster’s shot hovering a mere foot or two away from her, a familiar presence suddenly washing over her. Hearing the multiple gasps, accompanied with the harmonious sound of blasters readying, Rey didn’t have to have the bond to know who was stood behind her. 

Turning around, Rey caught sight of a rather furious Ben striding down the ramp as he made his way towards her, his gaze on the man who had shot the blaster at her. Once he stood beside her, he gave her a glance, reassuring himself that she truly was safe, before returning to look at the now slightly worried man before him. The man kept the blaster engaged, his eyes staring at Kylo Ren with as much determination as he could muster at that moment. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Ben’s voice was threatening, becoming rather protective of Rey as he stood close to her in front of the whole resistance. 

Moving his hand, Ben sent the floating blast in the opposite direction, narrowly missing the man who had fired the shot. Ben could sense the frustration in Rey that he was there, mixed in with the hidden relief that she felt whenever he was near her side. 

Casting his eyes to the man with the blaster once again, Ben noticed Rey’s lightsaber on his belt, anger rising within him again. Rey sensed it through the bond, letting him know she willingly gave it as a sign of peace. The information calmed him slightly, however he was still pissed off that he had tried to shoot her when she was saying her goodbyes peacefully. 

Raising his hand again, Ben pulled the man towards him with the force, causing more shocked gasps around him. Rey gave him a look, speaking across the bond as he held the man’s throat physically in his hand. 

‘Ben, please don’t do this.’

Her pleading reminded him of the day she took his hand in the throne room. Merely a week ago and yet it felt an eternity away, acutely aware of the change in himself over the small period of time. She really did have a hold over him like no one else. A hold he never wanted her to release. 

Glaring down at the terrified man, Ben swiftly summoned the saber from the man’s belt. 

“This belongs to Rey.”

After telling him the information in a matter of fact way, Ben released his hold of the man, allowing him to scuttle away towards the crowd. He could feel Rey’s eyes on him, anger present along with relief and pride that he hadn’t hurt the man. He knew she would be mad about him being there, but right now he didn’t care. He just wanted to make sure she was okay. 

Looking slightly to the left, Ben’s eyes caught his mother’s curious gaze, love instantly flooding into her eyes as their eyes met. Unable to face her yet, Ben nodded his head towards her. 

“Mother.”

Leia smiled, trying her best to not cling onto the moment too much. She wanted to respond to him, to tell him how happy she was to see him, but now was not the right time. The resistance needed reassurance, not their General gushing over the Supreme Leader of the First Order. 

Acknowledging her feelings displayed through their shared gaze, Ben softened his eyes for half a second before turning to face Rey. Circling his arm around her waist before she could protest, Ben lead her up the ramp towards the ship. 

“Let’s go.”

Rey could feel the shocked stares of the Rebels at their intimate hold, unable to hold back her frustration much longer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I’m back again, however updates will still be a bit all over the place for a while so apologies. Thank you so much for all the love this story has received. Hope you liked the chapter! X


	24. Chapter 24

Rey allowed Ben to lead her up the ramp to the ship, trying her best to hold in her anger until they were secure in the ships walls. However, a sudden thought crossed her mind as she approached the open hatch of the ship. Finn.

Swiftly turning from Ben’s grip, Rey turned to face Leia in a hurried motion. 

“Leia, where’s Finn?”

Leia let out a sigh, knowing this question was coming. 

“He’s not here. He left to search for you with a couple other rebels and Chewy.”

Rey’s eyes grew wide in panic, completely ignoring the growing annoyance and eye-roll so big she felt it through the bond from Ben. She was annoyed enough without him acting up even more. 

“Searching for me? Stars, where is he?”

Leia shook her head, unsure on what to tell Rey. 

“We don’t know. They haven’t com’d since they left, though I’m sure they are okay.”

Rey nodded slowly, deep in thought about what to do before a voice broke through her mind. 

‘Rey...we need to leave.’

‘Oh, I’m sure we do.’

Letting out an audible sigh, Rey straightened herself out, looking back at Leia once again. 

“I’ll make sure they’re safe.”

Leia nodded in return, smiling as she watched Rey push passed Ben’s awaiting arm, obviously ready to give him a good talking to. They reminded her of Han and herself, always bickering when the other tried to help, nothing but love fuelling those small arguments. Whilst their ending was most certainly not one of happiness and contentment, she truly hoped they would be able to succeed where they failed. 

Ben let out a small grunt as Rey pushed passed him, aware of how annoyed she currently was with him. In his defence, he had expected this but if it wasn’t for him, she would’ve been injured. Luckily the Rebel man was a rather shocking shot, the blast aiming towards the edge of Rey’s forearm, however that wasn’t the point. The man had still tried to hurt her, and if he hadn’t stopped him, he would’ve succeed. 

Walking further into the ship, Ben watched as Rey strode into the cockpit, taking the pilot seat as he heard the hatch shut. Following suit, Ben made his way towards the copilot seat, only to be stopped by Rey’s hand in front of the seat. 

“No, not you.”

Ben raised an eyebrow as Rey continued to busy herself with the ship’s controls, completely ignoring him. 

“You can’t be serious. You know I’m one of the best pilots on here.”

Rey remained silent for a moment, focusing on turning on the engines before calling for Delta. 

“Delta, I need a copilot.”

Ben let out a snort of annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Really? You’re going to be that childish?”

Rey continued to ignore him, finally turning to look at him after he started to tap his foot. Her stare was cold, the flames behind her eyes ice blue as her brows dipped in a frown. 

Letting out a long sigh, Ben turned on his heel, cape chasing after him in a hurry. 

“Fine. I see how it is.”

Ben pushed passed Delta as she made her way into the cockpit, feeling rather awkward as she sat down in the copilot seat. 

“You know he’s right? He is a lot better pilot than me, Rey.”

Rey nodded, a rather smug look on her face. 

“I know. But I planned this mission without him and as much as I’m capable, I’ll finish it without him.”

Delta smirked beneath her helmet before turning to the controls, helping Rey get the ship into space. The journey remained quiet, Rey ranting slightly to Delta about how annoyed she was with Ben, and Delta offering some advice on the situation such as why Ben came. It allowed Rey to look at the situation from a different side, calming her down a bit. Of course, she wasn’t going to go easy on him either way. He had betrayed her trust the first time she’d tried to do anything that she’s wanted to do and she wouldn’t let it happen again. 

Once the ship landed, Rey was overcome with Ben’s presence trying to access her mind, desperately trying to reach out to her. It almost made her feel bad for how she acted. Had she been too harsh? No, he had deserved the way she had been after his betrayal of their trust. But deep down, Rey knew she couldn’t ignore him for long. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she was beginning to miss him, wanting him near her side again. 

With the click of the doors, Delta made her leave, another presence cascaded in black taking her place beside Rey. Rey could feel the worry mixed with aggravation seeping off him across the bond, pulling at her heartstrings even more. 

“Rey...”

His voice was soft and gentle, almost as soft as the caress of her hand that accompanied it. Rey took in a breath as she tried her best not to react to his touch, the feeling of prickling heat spreading across her hand trying its best to grab her attention. Their bond had always confused her, and the way it made her react to his touch was the most confusing. She was angry with him, possibly furious, and yet she was being drawn to him more and more without even realising it. 

Finally turning to face him, Rey took in his searching eyes, knowing he was desperately trying to know what she was feeling. Taking his hand that lay upon her own, Rey rose from her seat. 

“Not here.”

Not waiting for a response, Rey pulled Ben behind her, smiling internally at the mental image of her pulling the fearless Supreme leader by the hand among the ship with him simply allowing her to do as she pleased. 

It didn’t take long for them to reach their quarters, Rey pulling them both to the sofa as soon as they were in the room. For a moment there was silence, neither able to think about what to say, until Ben broke the silence. 

“Are you okay?”

“What?”

Rey blinked in surprise, not quite sure why he was asking her again. 

“I’m not hurt if that’s what you’re asking about. You know the blaster shot didn’t reach me.”

Rey’s voice was laced with a cold edge, slicing at Ben, however it couldn’t completely hide the gratitude she held for him being there in time. Sighing, Rey let her barriers down so that Ben could sense how she felt. It would definitely save them time rather than having to verbalise their feelings, however Ben still seemed rather tense. 

Cradling her face lightly, Ben searched her eyes. 

“I meant, are you okay with me? Did I hurt you?”

It Rey a moment to realise he wasn’t meaning physically. He was meaning her feelings. And in truth, he had hurt her feelings. He had gone against her wishes, showing he didn’t trust her. He had made her look weak by coming to her rescue in front of everyone. And to top it off, he had then taken charge of when they should leave the planet. 

Ben flinched slightly as Rey projected her feelings across the bond towards him, sighing before closing his eyes in concentration. 

Rey raised an eyebrow in confusion before her mind was filled with flashing images of herself and the rebels. At first, everything was well. It was if they had accepted her back to the rebels, as if she would never leave them again. But slowly, the images grew darker, members of the rebels attacking Rey when she was vulnerable and defenceless, eventually killing her. Just when Rey thought the images couldn’t get any worse, the sky turned red as ash rose, multitudes of slain bodies surrounding Ben as he cradled Rey’s lifeless body on the Rebels’ planet. It was a vision of some sorts. Not exactly a premonition, but a fear of ‘what if’ being visualised by Ben’s torturous mind. 

As the images bled away, Rey looked deeply into Ben’s dark eyes, his gaze unfocused and blurred. Pulling his chin upwards softly, Rey made him focus on her, feeling the darkness creeping its long fingers around him. 

“Ben...I’m okay.”

Ben remained still, staring at her without acknowledging her presence. He was still stuck there, in his mental prison. If he was there too long, Rey knew she would lose him. 

Acting purely on instinct, Rey pulled Ben’s face towards hers, crashing her lips onto his, feeling him slowly melt into the kiss as his hands circled her body. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo sorry it’s been nearly a month, however I’m home now and will be doing a countdown to Christmas with daily updates each night. There may be a couple of days I miss since it’s my birthday soon, however I’ll make the days up with double updates. Hope you enjoy the story, it’s just about to get interesting ;)


	25. Chapter 25

Ben pulled Rey close to him as he kissed her softly, feeling himself returning from the shadows. How easily he fell back towards the dark side made him feel uneasy, as if he couldn’t trust himself around Rey. If he lost himself again, he could easily hurt her or worse, kill her.

Rey pulled him closer to her, her hand cradling his face as she sensed his thoughts over their bond. 

‘Stop thinking you’ll hurt me. You won’t.’

Pulling away from him slightly, Rey caught her breath as she let out a sigh. 

“I’m not as fragile as I may look ya know. I have bested you multiple times and don’t think I’m going to go easy on you just because I care about you.”

Ben smirked at her words, becoming content as he fiddled with her fingers, taking in the small scars that laced her hands that he hadn’t noticed before now. He felt like he was always learning something new about her each day, no matter how small or insignificant, it all mattered deeply to him. Too deep for his own liking, making him slightly uncomfortable. 

Rey let out a sigh again, not wanting to aggravate things again, however she couldn’t simply let things remain the way they were. Sensing her inner struggle, Ben looked towards her, his voice soft and encouraging. 

“Speak your mind. I’ll listen.”

Rey turned to face him again, smiling slightly at his readiness to listen to her. 

“I need you to trust me. I know that’s easier said then done after what we’ve both been through in our lives, but how can we work together if we don’t have complete trust in one another. You went against your word.”

Ben shook his head lightly. 

“I never lie to you, Rey.”

Rey scoffed slightly at his response, trying her best to remain level headed. 

“You snuck aboard my ship when I had my first mission on my own!”

“I never said I wasn’t coming with you explicitly.”

“Well, it was certainly implied.”

Ben stayed quiet for a moment before showing a hint of a smile. 

“I guess it’s a misunderstanding then.”

It was now Rey’s turn to stay silent, trying to weigh up how to respond to his argument. In a way, he had a point, however she didn’t like being wrong in a situation where she felt she was the one who had been done wrong to. 

“Fine. But from now on, no more technicalities. If one of us is going alone, then the other won’t go behind their back to join them. Deal?”

Rey had crossed her arms across her chest in defeat, extending one of her hands towards Ben slightly for him to shake in agreement. Ben seemed to find the whole thing rather amusing, chuckling as he shook her hand lightly. 

“Good. Glad we’ve sorted that then.”

Moving to stand, Rey felt herself being pulled back into the sofa, Ben’s arms soon wrapping around her as he closed the gap between the pair of them. Rey gasped slightly at the kissed, soon melting into the embrace as he gently pulled her into his lap. The kiss wasn’t hot and feisty, instead soft and passionate. It filled in the gaps where words could not, fixing the small rift between them once again. 

Kissing Ben Solo was something Rey had never imagined herself doing, however now she couldn’t picture herself ever wanting to live without the feeling of her lips against his own. Whilst the thought made her feel weak, it was pure in truth. As someone who had never kissed someone before, she was inexperienced, however Ben soon coached her through their moments of intimacy. 

His hands circled around her waist, rubbing her sides slightly as he leant back against the sofa, slowly lowering Rey on top of him. The change in position had worried Rey initially, however the feeling of being that much closer to his body soon brushed her worries away. It didn’t take long for the kisses to grow in passion, becoming messier and more desperate, resulting in Ben’s hands wandering more and more. 

Feeling his hands grabbing her ass, Rey moaned into Ben’s mouth, enjoying how comfortable they were becoming with each other. Rey’s moans only encouraged Ben more, his tongue exploring her mouth deeply as his hands grasped at her body. It didn’t take long for them both to be grabbing at each other desperately, Ben swiftly flipping them on the sofa so that he was hovering over Rey. Holding eye contact, Ben broke away from the kiss, leaning over Rey as they both panted heavily. They could feel each other’s desires, their need for one another, but neither dared make the first move. Instead, they stared at each other, taking in each other’s emotions before building up the courage to act on their desires. 

In a swift movement, their lips met once again, their hands pulling at each other as they let their limbs tangle together. Rey moaned as Ben’s hand drifted from her hip, further down to her inner thigh, making her tremble at the touch. 

Pulling away again, Ben looked at Rey for permission, wanting to please her even more. Getting a small nod as a response and a passionate kiss, Ben moved his hand further down her thigh, only stopping again once a loud bang was heard from the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s not as long, just a bit of a filler for what’s to come :)


	26. Chapter 26

Ben growled, his frustration taking over him.

“I swear, I’m going to kill whoever’s behind those doors.”

Rey smirked at Ben’s under breath comment, feeling her own frustration in equal measure. Just when they were starting to explore each other that bit more, the universe had to send someone knocking on their door. Literally.

Pushing himself off of Rey’s body, Ben pulled Rey into a sitting position, pulling his shirt down slightly as Rey readjusted her hair and tunic. 

“I’m sure they’ve got a valid reason for needing us.”

Ben grunted again, rising from the sofa and striding over to the doors as Rey remained seated on the sofa, not missing the quiet ‘They better’ from Ben over their bond. Even when they were so frustrated, Ben could still bring a smile to her face, making her cheeks flush slightly. The effect he had on her was vast, ranging from simply looking at her to the way his hands caressed her body. At this rate, Rey was pretty sure him just existing had an effect on her. 

‘Easy, I’m already annoyed we had to stop.’

Rey’s eyes grew wide as she looked over to the doors, catching sight of a slightly smirking Ben ready to open the doors. Adjusting herself again to hide her creeping blush, Rey watched the doors open, Delta’s form being revealed behind the steel barriers. 

“Delta.”

Delta saluted Ben before addressing them both. 

“Supreme Leader, Empress, we have a situation.”

Noticing Delta’s tone and formal address of Rey, both of them allowed Delta to enter the room, aware that the situation was serious. 

“Delta, what’s the problem?”

“I’m afraid the issue has to do with the Empress.”

“With Rey?”

Ben and Delta turned to look at Rey as she approached them, unsure what she had done now. 

“With me? What issues have I caused now?”

Delta shook her head, pulling a face to show Rey she wasn’t to blame even though her helmet covered her expression. 

“You’ve not caused the issue, however you are linked to it.”

Rey looked between Delta and Ben, unsure of what Delta was on about. 

“I’m confused. What do you mean?”

Ben began to get slightly defensive, feeling as if Delta was trying to place the blame on Rey for something she hadn’t done. Besides, he was her alibi that she was...busy...with him. 

“Delta, explain.”

Rey side-eyed Ben slightly, noticing his hostile tone. 

‘Easy, you’re only just out my bad books. Try not to get angry at my friend too.’

This time, it was Ben’s turn to look at Rey, sighing in defeat as he calmed himself down. He was too used to being on the defensive to accept how easily Rey made friends with the troopers. 

‘Sorry.’

Delta smirked at the brief silence between them, observing the shared glances exchanged between Rey and Ben. She knew they could communicate together like this, and always found it fascinating. Almost as fascinating as the swollen lips, messy hair and disheveled clothes they were both sporting along with the blossoming love bite on Rey’s collar bone. There really was no hope with these two. 

Noticing the fore-mentioned pair’s eyes on her, Delta continued with her report of the current situation. 

“There has been a ship caught in close proximity to the ship. They are currently in the hangar awaiting investigation.”

Ben and Rey shared a look before Rey continued to question Delta. 

“Okay, but what does this have to do with me?”

“It’s the Millennium Falcon.”

Rey and Ben gasped, both shocked at the arrival of the Falcon, however Rey soon clicked as to why this situation involved her. 

“Finn!”

Delta and Ben glanced at Rey after her outburst, unsure on what she was on about. 

“It’s Finn, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I’ve been informed that the traitor is onboard.”

Rey frowned at the nickname, aware that she was going to have to change that soon, however that would have to wait. She needed to see him. 

“Take me to them.”

Delta nodded, turning to escort Rey out of the room. They left in a hastily manner, leaving Ben alone in the room. Rey never liked leaving him, but right now she needed to make sure her friend was okay. 

Shortly after, they arrived at the hangar, troopers saluting her as she strode passed. The respect was still new to Rey, however she was starting to get used to it. But there was no time to take notice of that now, not when she could see the entrance to the Millennium Falcon beginning to open. 

Striding towards the opening door, Rey awaited to see her friends, holding her hand up for the troopers to stand down. The last thing she needed was another blaster being fired at her today. 

The door seemed to take forever to open, but once it did, Rey’s eyes lit up. There, stood at the entrance to the ship, was her dear friend, Finn. Wasting no time, the pair ran into each other’s arms, embracing each other tightly as they let out small sobs of joy. They had missed each other dearly, both worried that the other may not be alive. 

Pulling away, Finn placed his hands on Rey’s shoulders, taking in her appearance as they smiled at each other. Once again, Rey was grateful she was in her normal tunic today instead of one of her extravagant dresses, feeling that she needed to ease Finn into how things had changed so quickly gently. 

“Rey, I’m so glad I found you.”

Rey smiled, returning the feeling. 

“Where have you been? I’ve been so worried. I mean you just vanished and the-“

“She’s been with me.”

Finn’s grip on Rey tightened as he grew stiff, his eyes whipping over to where the voice had come from. Slowly turning around, Rey was met with the menacing image of Kylo Ren, his full black outfit engulfed by his dark abyss of a cloak. The knights of Ren stood in formation behind Kylo, adding to the intimidating aura that was being emitted from the figure in black. Rey rolled her eyes slightly, knowing why Ben was doing this. He may have become more open and accepting of the light with her, but to others, he had to live up to expectation they had of him. Of Kylo Ren, the monster. How wrong they all were. 

Of course, Ben had done some horrific things as Kylo Ren, things that should never be spoken of, and yet the way he interacted with Rey showed how different of a person he was. He wasn’t a monster, just a gentle creature trapped in a vicious cage. And now, slowly, he was beginning to creep out of the guarded gates. 

Feeling Finn tug her behind him, Rey looked towards him in surprise. 

“Don’t worry Rey, we’re gonna get you out of here.”

“What? No, Finn wait-“

“Ready the engines Chewy!”

“Finn, no!”

Pushing past Finn’s arms, Rey moved to stand in front of him, grabbing his attention as a confused look formed on his face. 

“Rey, what are you doing?”

“I can’t leave.”

Finn looked over to Ben, eyes like daggers. 

“He’s keeping you here. But with us here, you’ll be able to leave. Now, quickly get on board-“

“No.”

Finn looked at her again, unsure on why she was resisting his help. 

“Finn, I chose to stay...”


	27. Chapter 27

Finn stared at Rey in shock and disbelief, unsure on why she would be willingly staying with the monster that was Kylo Ren. Surely he had to be keeping her against her will, making her act like she wasn’t a prisoner to get the off the scent. But he wasn’t going to let her be controlled by him.

Holding Rey’s wrist, Finn tugged her closer to him slightly, eyes desperately pleading with her. 

“Rey, I know that’s not true. That’s not something you would do. I know you.”

Rey let her mouth drop into a small frown, a sudden sadness engulfing her. 

“I’m starting to believe no one knows me.”

‘But I do.’

The voice was soft and warm, a comforting feeling fighting off the previous sadness as Rey acknowledged Ben’s voice in her head. Without realising, a small smile grew on her face, her eyes blankly staring ahead. 

“But he does...”

Her voice was barely a whisper, but Finn heard it, his confused eyes flickering between Rey and the dark figure looming over her shoulder in the distance. Finn could sense something he had never felt before. A change in the force, a sign of strength and unification becoming apparent. Whilst his use of the force was new and very limited, he was already aware that whatever was going on here was far more than Rey being held captive. Wanting to explore further, Finn accepted Rey’s explanation, at least for the moment, contacting Chewy through the com to come down with the others. 

Rey smiled at Finn, realising that he had seemed to ignore her statement before, something she was hoping he would do. She wasn’t quite ready to try and explain to her dear friend something that she herself didn’t fully understand just yet. However, she wasn’t embarrassed of Ben, just cautious of how the others would react. That is, whoever the others were. 

A few moments later, three figures emerged, two being people Rey was unfamiliar with. The other Rey was very aware of. 

“Chewy!” 

Hearing Chewy roar in response, Rey opened her arms wide, letting the Wookie sweep her up and squeeze her. Rey was over the moon to see him again, however her emotions were mixed with someone else’s too. Great feelings of sadness and regret washes over her as she felt Ben’s watchful eyes rest on her and the Wookie embracing her. Deep down, she knew this would be difficult for Ben, however she hoped he would be able to control his emotions long enough for Rey to sort the group in front of her out. 

Pulling away from Chewy, Rey observed the pair stood to the side of them. Behind Finn stood a small woman with black hair. She had a weary look on her face, but wasted no time in moving forward to introduce herself. 

“Hi, I’m Rose. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Rey raised her eyebrows slightly, unsure of whether that was a compliment or not, however she decided it was probably best she didn’t think into it too much. If she was chosen by Finn to go on this journey to save her, then she must be trustworthy. 

“Nice to meet you.”

Turning to look at the remaining man, Rey nodded her head slightly. 

“And you are?”

The man scoffed slightly. Rolling his eyes at Rey. 

“Don’t you want to introduce yourself?”

The man shrugged at Rey, acting uninterested with the situation. His attitude made him come off as arrogant and obnoxious, a combination Rey was not keen on. 

“That depends.”

Rey raised her eyebrow at him, unsure on why he wasn’t wanting to introduce himself. 

“On what?”

Looking towards Rey, the man’s eyes flicked over to Ben stood a few meters away with his guards. 

“On whether or not you’re siding with that.”

The man’s voice dripped with venom as he stared at Ben, anger flickering in his eyes. Rey could feel Ben growing tense with his own anger, making her more anxious. Finn turned to grab the man’s shoulder, telling him to pack it in. Obviously this man didn’t trust her right now, and she didn’t blame him for that, however if he wanted to live, he would need to calm down. 

“I don’t see why that would affect you answering me but fine. I’ll just call you the arrogant one.”

The man side eyed Rey, letting out a sigh. 

“The name’s Poe. That’s all you’re getting.”

Rey scoffed, already getting annoyed with the man. 

“That’s all I asked for. Now, follow me.”

Rey didn’t leave the group much time to ask questions or answer back, turning to walk down the ramp once she had finished talking. The group luckily followed, mainly lead by Finn and Chewy’s cooperation. Rey could feel Ben’s eyes on her as they walked closer to him, knowing he wasn’t so happy about more Rebels boarding his ship. 

Stopping in front of him, Rey tried to act as distant as possible, as a way of trying to not complicate the situation, but when you have a bond like they do, it becomes quite hard. 

“I need to take them somewhere safe. Where can they go?”

Rey kept her face neutral as she spoke to Ben, trying to not react to the way his eyes searched hers. 

“The guards will take them to their cells.”

“Cells?”

Rey’s eyes grew wide, panicked slightly by the situation. Ben kept his face blank, a technique he had mastered over the years. He knew Rey wouldn’t want her friends in the cells, but right now they had trespassed and were known enemies of the First Order. To treat them as guests would certainly cause issues with the Generals. Especially Hux. 

Keeping his eyes on Rey, Ben spoke to her through the bond. 

‘Only for now. Treat them any other way and people will become suspicious.’

‘Well everyone did just see me hug them.’

‘A tactic to lure them in. False sense of security. I promise, it’ll just be temporary.’

Rey sighed, turning to the guards beside her. 

“Take them to the cells.”

Rey could hear the others gasp behind her, Finn lightly tugging on her tunic whilst Poe scoffed in the background, mumbling how he knew it.

Looking over her shoulder, Rey gave Finn a face, trying to tell him to trust her. He seemed to get the message, nodding slightly as he signalled for the others to follow the guards without complaint. Rey watched as they were escorted from the hangar in cuffs, the sight making her feel immensely guilty as a gloved hand snaked around her waist gently. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for missing yesterday, I was knackered and fell asleep before I could update. There should be a double update sometime this week to make up for it. Thank you for reading!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was recently made aware of the fact that in the novel, Rey and Poe meet before the end of The Force Awakens instead of the end of The Last Jedi, however since it happens in The Last Jedi in the films, I will be following this canon. I will also include a reference to the former meeting at some point to show both sides

Rey let out a sigh, knowing she was doing the right thing to protect her friends, yet still feeling the immense guilt of sending them to the cells on her heart. Ben seemed to sense this, tightening his hold on her waist slightly, offering her comfort. He wasn’t exactly the best in these situations, but he knew Rey was struggling since seeing her friends.

Wanting to get her alone, Ben slightly pushed her forward, his arm around her waist guiding her down the hallway. Neither said a word, already used to following each other without question. The silence was comfortable between them, allowing them both to have a moment to think as they mad their way down the long corridors to a small meeting room. Pulling Rey slightly to a halt, Ben motioned towards the room, opening the doors for them. Rey soon caught on, leading the way into the room with Ben following closely behind. The troopers remained outside, guarding the door. Once the door was shut, Rey let out a long sigh, he emotions starting to unravel. 

“Rey...you alright?”

Rey looked at Ben, about to say that she was fine but holding herself back, knowing he already knew she wasn’t. How could she be? Her friends had just arrived randomly and were now in the cells. Their trust with her must be beyond broken now. Sighing again, Rey fell backwards into one of the plush conference chairs. 

“No, not really. I’ve just sent my friends to our holding cells without any real explanation so I’m pretty sure they won’t be my friends after this.”

Ben tried his best not to notice her use of ‘our’ for the holding cells since this was not the time, however he couldn’t help the warm feeling he felt inside at the mention of their relationship. Moving on to focus on the more pressing matters, Ben moved towards Rey, crouching in front of her as he took her hand. It felt weird wearing gloves again, being unable to feel the warmth of her skin against his. Rey frowned too, feeling a similar mix of emotions. 

“I’m sure they understand that you have reasons for doing it. Besides, they’re not stupid.”

Rey raised an eyebrow at him, unsure as to how he had come to that conclusion. 

“And how do you know how smart they are?”

Ben shrugged, too busy playing with Rey’s fingers in his hand. 

“Someone like you couldn’t be friends with idiots.”

Rey rolled her eyes, pushing past his comment this once due to her mind being preoccupied. 

“Still, I need to explain to them what’s going on. They deserve to know.”

Ben nodded, his eyes showing him to be deep in thought. Rey remained silent, allowing Ben to break the silence once his train of thought had ended. Looking towards her, Ben lightly squeezed Rey’s hand before standing. 

Rey raised an eyebrow at him again, unsure where he was going. Stopping at the doorway, Ben turned to look at Rey. 

“Aren’t you coming?”

Letting out a small chuckle, Rey rolled her eyes. It would’ve helped if she knew he had wanted her to follow him. 

“Where?”

“To see your friends.”

With that, Rey was straight on her feet, following closely to Ben as he strode towards the cells. Rey didn’t have time to pay attention to the many members of the First Order bowing to her as they made their way through the large ship, right now her mind was focused on what she was going to say to them. How would she be able to explain everything? How could she explain the reason for sending them to the cells? And most importantly, how would she ever explain her relationship with Ben? Whilst the last point wasn’t necessary to be revealed to her friends, Rey knew that they would soon find out one way or another. 

Before long, the pair found themselves at the cells, the rows of troopers behind them standing in formation as they guarded the entrance. It didn’t take long for Ben to find Rey’s friends, pulling her along towards the cell. Overcome with excitement to see her friends again, Rey moved forward, only to be stopped by Ben’s hand grasping her arm. His hold was gentle yet firm, enough for her to acknowledge his presence. 

Turning to face him, Rey looked at him with concerned eyes, unsure why he would bring her all this way just to hold her back. However, it seemed Ben was doing anything but. Instead, he simply held her gaze for a moment, making sure she was happy to go in on her own before releasing his hold of her. 

“Be careful. I’ll stay out here with the guards if you need me.”

Rey scoffed, finding his overprotective behaviour amusing. She had bested him in many fights, held her own in various situations, and yet he acted as if she was defenceless. 

Moving towards him, Rey cupped his cheek lightly, ensuring no one could see them. Whilst she wasn’t ashamed of them, she knew his image as Supreme Leader would be affected if they acted the way they were behind closed doors in front of everyone. 

“I’ll be fine. Trust me.” 

Those two words seemed to hit Ben harder than Rey had anticipated, his eyes flinching slightly at the remark. Only a few hours ago, they were arguing about him not trusting her, and now here they were again. Rey needing Ben to prove he could trust her, even when she could be in potential danger.

Nodding slightly, Ben moved back, ready to return to the entrance of the cells. 

“I do.”

Rey smiled slightly as Ben left, leaving Rey alone with the door to her friends’ cell. Taking a deep breath, Rey moved forward, opening the doors with the control panel and entering the small room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is shorter, it’s a filler for what’s to come x


	29. Chapter 29

Rey heard Finn gasp as the doors shut behind her, the other three sets of eyes now joining Finn’s on her. The feeling was a little overwhelming, leaving Rey unsure of how the others would react to her joining the First Order. Of course, there was a lot more to it than her just joining the First Order, especially since it was more like her joining Ben instead of the whole organisation. However, depending on how she worded her next few sentences would determine whether or not she would have the chance to explain herself to her friends.

Looking at the group, Rey gave a small smile that was returned by Finn and Rose, Chewy letting out a welcoming sound as Poe kept his face blank as he looked at her. Overall, they seemed happy to see her which was good considering they were currently in her prison. 

Rey could feel their eyes on her, each wondering what was going on and why they were in the cells but Rey wasn’t. At least, not until she voluntarily joined them. 

“Rey...”

Rey looked over to Finn, smiling slightly at his optimistic face. She could tell he had been worried about her, much like she was for him, however the guilt of becoming distracted by a certain Dark Lord soon sunk in. Finn had been searching for her whilst she stood besides Ben, their enemy, at her own free will, completely taken up with the new direction her life had taken to think about her friends. Rey felt like she had betrayed them, and in a way she had. She had betrayed their trust by joining the enemy, even if it was for the greater good in her eyes. Either way, she would have to hope and pray that they would hear her out before they made judgement on her. 

Just like how Leia had listened to her. However, Leia was different. She already had conflicting interests, wanting to protect the Rebellion whilst also wishing to see her son again. That was why she listened to Rey before, but now she didn’t have the same advantage. Letting out a long sigh, Rey looked towards the group with a sad expression. 

“I’m so sorry guys.”

The group in front of her eyed each other before looking back at Rey, all wearing confusion all over their faces. Finn, of course, was the first to respond, compassion clear in his voice. 

“Rey, what do you mean?”

Rey scoffed slightly, walking to sit on one of the benches at the side of the cell, looking at the group once again. 

“It’s my fault that you are all here, in my cells.”

Once again, Finn spoke up, quick to move the blame off Rey’s shoulders. 

“That’s not true.” 

“It is. You came searching for me, which lead you to the First Order. And now, here you are, detained with uncertain fates.”

Finn remained quiet with the others, lost for words yet not from a lack of questions. They just couldn’t think of where to start. They were all so worried and confused with the situation that they didn’t know what to say. That was, until Poe’s voice broke through the silence with its harsh accusing tone. 

“My cells.”

Rey and the remaining trio turned to look at him, curious expressions forming on their faces. 

“You said ‘my cells’. For that to be true...”

Poe’s eyes narrowed at Rey as his voice turned to venom. 

“...you’d have to be one of them.”

Finn was instantly at Poe’s side, pushing him against the wall slightly with annoyance. 

“Don’t be stupid. Rey would never join them.”

Finn looked towards Rey who was currently looking at them with sad eyes, already seeing where this conversation was heading. 

“Isn’t that right, Rey?”

Rey sighed, ready to reveal all. 

“Actually, I’m afraid he’s not entirely wrong...”

Finn moved his hold from Poe, his eyes wide with shock as he looked at Rey, his reaction mirrored by the remaining prisoners. Rey could feel the shock and betrayal in their eyes, feeling sick with guilt. 

“Rey...you..betrayed us?”

Rey quickly shook her head, raising from her seat to look at Finn and the others. 

“No, I didn’t. I swear, that was never my intention.”

Poe scoffed, not believing her words. 

“Intentional or not, you’ve ended up pretty happy on Kylo Ren’s ship, so it seems you’re doing well for a traitor.”

Rey could feel her anger rising in her, trying her best to contain it. She needed to show them they could trust her, not scare them off. 

“It’s not like that. Believe me. Please, just let me explain.”

Rey’s friends looked between themselves before nodding, retreating to the benches at the sides of the room as they awaited Rey’s explanation. Rey could sense Finn’s anticipation, Rose’s worry, Chewy’s confusion and Poe’s disinterest. But she needed to ignore all of that now, as this was her chance to explain herself to them all. Taking a deep breath, Rey began to explain everything to them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it’s pretty obvious the daily updates didn’t work. I’m so sorry, I really wanted to update daily but I got to a point where I kept rewriting again and again due to mental blocks. So I took some time away and now I’m back. Hope you all enjoy the story!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter as an apology for the rubbish updates x

Glancing between the focused faces around her, Rey waited for someone to speak up. She had come clean about everything that had happened in the past week or so, however one thing had been left out. Her relationship with Ben. Siding with someone and being lovers with someone were drastically different and whether or not she would reveal their relationship all depended on how they would take what she had already told them.

The silence dragged on, making Rey even more anxious. She just wanted to know whether or not they trusted her anymore. Finally, Finn broke the silence. 

“So, let me make sure I’ve got this right...”

Rey nodded for him to continue, eager to know what he was thinking. 

“...THE Kylo Ren saved your life, then killed his master and guards with you, offered for you to join the First Order in exchange for cancelling the attacks on the resistance, and now you’re his equal, trying to bring peace to the galaxy?”

Finn’s face showed confusion and disbelief which was mirrored by the others as Rey sighed. Hearing it all out loud, it did sound rather unbelievable, something Poe soon jumped on. 

“You do realise how ridiculous this all sounds right? Why should we believe you?”

“Because Leia believed and trusted me.”

Poe tensed slightly, hearing that Leia had believed Rey. 

“She would believe you though. She would want to wish her son was alive, even though we all know he isn’t.”

Rey rolled her eyes slightly, knowing it was best for her to give up fighting with Poe as neither would win. Silence commenced once again before Finn spoke aloud again. 

“I believe you, Rey. I just can’t wrap my head around it all. I mean...why would Kylo Ren save you like that and make you his equal?”

Rey shifted uncomfortably for a moment before her attention was grabbed by Rose’s sudden outburst. 

“Oh my! I know exactly why he would!”

The others all looked at her with questioning eyes, unsure on whether or not they wanted to know about her sudden epiphany. 

“There’s only one explanation...”

Turning to look at Rey, Rose raised an eyebrow at her with a slight smirk. 

“...He cares for Rey very deeply.”

Rey visibly stiffened, unsure on how to respond. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her as her blush became evident on her cheeks. 

“And by the looks of it, Rey seems to care deeply for him too!”

Rey could practically hear the pure joy and excitement from Rose’s voice as she put the dots together. 

“Yeah right.”

Poe rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms across his chest, not believing anything he was hearing. Finn and Chewy remained silent as they tried to work their way through their own thoughts, unsure on what to think. Sighing, Rey decided that it may be best just to come clean. 

“It’s true...”

Instantly, Rey felt all of their eyes on her, wide with shock at her actually confirming something that sounded so ridiculous to them. Then, the mood changed. Disbelief turned to anger, mixed emotions flooding the room as Poe laughed. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me! There’s no way you’d choose that monster over the rebellion for a bit of company.”

Rey tried to act like his words didn’t hurt, but couldn’t ignore the sting she felt. 

“It’s true. But I didn’t leave the Rebellion for him, I left to save the rebellion and him. Both of them, not one or the other.”

Poe rolled his eyes as he walked up to Rey, his hands suddenly connecting with her shoulders as he pushed her against a nearby wall. Rey didn’t fight back, however the action did surprise her. She knew he wouldn’t attack her, he was just trying to make a point. 

“Sorry, but I’m struggling to see how the same creature that tortured me, ripped Finn’s back open, and killed thousands could simply change...for you.”

His words were laced with venom as he stared at her, unsure on how to take everything in. In his eyes, Kylo Ren was purely a monster. There was no way he could show compassion, let alone care so deeply for someone that he would nearly throw everything away for them. 

Rey sighed again, feeling Ben’s anger rising from outside the room. She could sense his presence on the other side of the door, ready to make an entrance the moment she needed him. It made her smile subconsciously, knowing he had trusted her to handle the situation whilst still offering her support if she needed it. He kept to their boundaries, and that meant the world to her. 

Catching on to her sudden smile, Poe pulled a face at her. 

“What’s so amusing to you?”

Rey looked back at Poe who’s hold remained, keeping her pressed against the wall. She wasn’t intimidated by him, but now that she knew Ben was just over an arm lengths away, her confidence grew. 

“You’re right. It does sound ridiculous. I mean, how can I expect you all the believe and understand everything when I don’t myself, and it’s about my life.”

Looking around at the others, Rey relaxed, feeling comfortable with her situation finally. 

“I know you all see him as a monster, and I’m not saying that he isn’t one. But that’s Kylo Ren...not Ben Solo.”

Rey watched as they all shared a glance, Poe removing his hold of her as he calmed down. 

“How can you be so sure? Ben Solo is dead from what I’ve seen.”

Rey understood where Poe was coming from, and it was true. To everyone else, they only ever saw Kylo Ren, but she had seen and felt Ben Solo fighting the darkness. Looking at them all, Rey smiled slightly, thinking about the bond she shared with Ben, sensing the same warm feeling emitting from him on the other side of the door. 

“Honestly, it’s hard to explain and I don’t really understand fully myself yet, but...there’s something there between us. A bond of some sort, allowing me to be connected to him and him to me.”

Finn’s eyes grew wider, unsure on what Rey was trying to get out. 

“How exactly are you connected?”

“We can see each other when we’re not together, sense each other’s emotions, even when the other is in pain or in danger...”

The group remained silent, deep in thought before Poe spoke up. 

“I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

The instance the words left his lips, Poe charged at Rey once again, his fist connecting with Rey’s jaw. It all happened so fast that Rey didn’t entirely know what had happened until the familiar sound of the blast doors opening was heard as she cradled her jaw, a blur of black cascading over Poe. Rey could hear Finn shout her name as he moved closer, Rose gasp and Chewy raw. Moving to get a better view, Rey was met with the sight of a rather smug Poe being held against the opposite wall in a choke hold by the one and only, Kylo Ren. Seeing Poe’s reaction, she caught on to what he had done. He wanted to test how well their bond worked, to see if it really was true, so that he could trust the rest of what she had told them. The punch hadn’t been that hard, just enough to shock Rey and for Ben to sense what had just happened, causing him to come storming in. 

“Ben, stop. That’s enough.”

Ben didn’t seem to hear Rey’s voice, too busy trying to determine how he was going to make the man in front of him beg for mercy. Rolling her eyes, Rey knew there was only one way to get his attention. 

‘Ben...please...stop.’

Rey noticed Ben freeze, his head turning slightly to glance at her over his shoulder. 

‘Ben, he did it to see if I was telling the truth about our bond.’

Ben rolled his eyes, turning to look back at Poe, ignoring the trio of amazed eyes watching the scenario before them unfold. 

‘He could’ve thought of a better way than punching you in the face.’

Poe watched as Kylo Ren glared down at him, his face emotionless, his eyes being the only viewpoint of any emotion. He could see the concentration in his eyes, the look of him being too focused on something else and not him, even though he was staring straight at him. 

‘Let him go, this isn’t exactly helping things.’

Reluctantly, Ben freed a rather amazed Poe, who like the others present in the room, had just witnessed their bond in its essence. The way they communicated without words. The speed in which Ben had entered the room as soon as Poe’s fist had made contact with Rey’s jaw. It all showed how connected they truly were. 

Turning to look at Rey, Ben’s eyes softened, showing a vulnerability that none of those in the cell, apart from Rey herself, had ever seen from him. Reaching out, Ben lightly held Rey’s jaw, noticing how she pulled away slightly, feeling very aware of the peering eyes on them. Satisfied that Rey wasn’t too hurt, Ben faced the others in front of him. Finn and Rose had shock etched into their faces, trying their best to try and hide it and failing terribly. Chewy held an expression that almost looked proud as he gazed at Ben. Rey could feel the pain growing in Ben from seeing his father’s old companion who had been a large part of his childhood. He was reliving the moment he killed his father, one of his most regrettable decisions he had ever made, and Rey needed to pull him out of it. 

Moving towards him slightly, Rey’s hand snuck around his, holding it lightly, grabbing his attention. Looking at her, he watched as Rey quickly dismissed themselves, ignoring Finn’s protests as she explained that she would return tomorrow to come up with an escape plan for them before turning to leave. The fact she had acted in his interest brought that warm feeling back into his chest, a feeling he was getting far too used to. 

Turning to follow her, Ben noticed Poe smirking at them. Usually he would’ve killed him for his actions, however Rey was somehow turning him into a man of the light at an astronomical rate. Of course, he wasn’t completely turned, allowing him to enjoy the satisfaction of punching Poe squarely in the face before leaving the room. He heard Rey gasp followed by a sigh and his name, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t going to let anyone harm his Empress ever again. Especially not himself. 


End file.
